Do you suffer depression/how do you deal?

[forgottendreamer]

I had a quick search so I apologise if I've missed a previous thread on this, but I was just wondering.
Who of you suffers depression?
Is it an ongoing thing, and do you take anything for it?
What other non medical things do you do to help yourself get through the day?

I was first diagnosed with depression at the age of 18. I'd recently moved to a new city, a new school and didn't know anyone. On top of that I had the added pressure of coming into the final year(s) of school, so I had to worry about the rest of my life. Would I go to uni, and all the rest of those questions.

At the time I took medication, but i've come to think that it's not always a requirement. While it can be used to bring your mood levels to stabilise, I think it should be more of an aid than a crutch.

I've since had a few periods in my life, usually when my life is a bit unstable, I'm not sure where i'm going and I have a lot going on in my life and a lot of decisions to make where I will succumb for a while, and I will relapse into depression.

I've realised just recently that i've been ignoring the signs.
I've spent the last few months moving around from town to town, living for short periods with friends and family, trying to ignore the fact that I need to start getting my life sorted out. Now that i'm confronting these issues i'm getting a bit depressed.

I'm trying to find a place that I can call my own, so I need to find a job at the same time and buy a car. I need to find a career rather than another dead end job, but not having a clue what to do for the rest of my life doesn't help. I have family nearby, but I don't want to stay there. I'm getting too old for that and they drive me bonkers anyway, plus they always make me feel like a teenager again, which is never fun.

I don't have any really close friends where I live, though for the most part that doesn't bother me, as i've always been my own person. The only person I really care about I felt that I almost lost, so i'm doing everything in my power to try and fix that relationship. But that will take time. Trusts need to be rebuilt and all that.

Anyway, i'll take on these issues and figure them out as I can.
I believe that keeping physically active and even just getting a bit of sunshine can help to keep the mind healthy.
Oh, and ranting on forums is good therapy too
What do you do to keep yourselves sane?

[The Girl In Question]

It's good that you've begun to realize what some of the issues in your life are.

I, too have what you have. I wish I could give better advice, and I wasn't going to put anything at all, but then I saw that there was no responses. I think what I do to keep myself sane is the same thing that's driving me insane, unfortunately. I haven't been able to afford meds for awhile. I don't really cope with it, I just kinda have to do stuff regular people do in spite of it. Which is harder than a lot of people know.

But I hope whatever steps your taking is on the road to recovery.

[Billie Erin]

I suffered anxiety badly a few years ago,I know that's really different and is treated in very different ways so I don't know exactly what you're going through, but it still made me feel different and isolated and played havoc with my feelings and my abilities. I still feel it coming back every so often. I never took medication, and I relied very heavily on the support of trusted family members. Things didn't really start getting better until I was honest with my family and my school nurse and let them support me fully,however again it was different because I was only about 13 so I suppose you'd want a little more independence than I experienced?

I'd say online forums like this are a good way of expressing your feelings and working through them. And I'm always here if you need someone just to listen and support you

[forgottendreamer]

I'll work my way through it all. At the moment i've been concentrating on getting fit and healthy, or at least trying to. That way I have something to feel positive about. Once I find my feet and get a job I can worry about the housing situation. I know my situation is a temporary one so I'll figure it all out. I personally don't take medication anymore, because I don't think that I need it.
Small steps at a time to get my life sorted out. For now i'm working on fixing past mistakes and relationships. As much as I really don't want to i'll probably end up staying with the family for a week or two and take it from there. Thanks again Billie Erin and TGIQ.
I was expecting more posts of personal problems but I guess you're all too well adjusted

[N.D.U.O]

I think that's good forgottendreamer a lot of people suffer depression these days but depression really becomes a problem when people become stuck within it. If you're fighting back even though you may not feel a big difference is being made you're changing yuo're atate of mind bit my bit.

Keep trying!

[The Night Lord]

Depression? Me and him are best friends, always walking around hand in hand together.

But seriously now.

Yes, I do suffer from depression, however, I have never had it diagnosed nor do I take anything for it. I have been suffering from it since I was about 12 or 13 (felt suicidal around 14/15) and I still struggle with it now, 10 years later, usually about crap in life, seeing as life hasn't been all that great for me. I don't exactly have very many fond memories of anything and a lot of things usually go to hell (figuratively), so I'm usually wondering why me and just generally why. It comes and goes in waves, so right now, I'm pretty fine, but I dunno when the next one will hit. Probably in a few weeks or months. And I just deal with it. Ride it out for a few days until things are somewhat okay again. But I have gone through a lot of bad shit in my 22 years, so that would explain some things

[forgottendreamer]

Aug 18, 2010 11:47:43 GMT -5 SOMNAMBULIST 2.0 said:

I have been suffering from it since I was about 12 or 13 (felt suicidal around 14/15) and I still struggle with it now, 10 years later, usually about crap in life, seeing as life hasn't been all that great for me. I don't exactly have very many fond memories of anything and a lot of things usually go to hell (figuratively), so I'm usually wondering why me and just generally why.

1) I suffer from depression
2) I have never been to the doctor about it or diagnosed, though my mother suspects I am depressed and wants me to go
3) I have suffered from depression since sixth grade, and I am now in eighth. Though it's only been about two years, it feels like longer considering what's happened
4) I will probably suffer from depression all through the five years of remaining school; college wouldn't be a problem
5) One of my two best friends is suffering from depression and she was tricked into getting medicine for it by her mother, but it hasn't helped
6) I have been thinking off and on about suicide; the goods and the bads of it. But then I think of all the good and great things I will miss if I do it, and the pain it may cause others (not much or many people)

There is no 'good side' to suicide..
Sure, your life may suck from time to time, god knows we've all been there. Sometimes it seems like life will just keep piling it on.
At the end of the day, there is always life at the end of the tunnel. Whether it's getting out of school, out of home, out of college. Whatever.
When I was in high school a guy in my year blew his brains out with a shotgun at school. Now we weren't close, but we always had a few friendly jibes to throw at each other when we saw each other. Now that's gone. It's been 7-8 years later and I still think of him whenever I get really bad.
I've since lost other school mates to suicide.

Nightlord i'm sorry to hear that it has been such a constant companion to you, and from such a young age. What issues cause you this now, if you don't mind me asking?

[drusillacakes]

Aug 17, 2010 18:31:54 GMT -5 forgottendreamer said:

I was expecting more posts of personal problems but I guess you're all too well adjusted

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I think I've just gotten better at hiding my issues over the years. But when those feelings make their way to the surface, as they often do, I have to deal with them and do my best to move on. Anyway, I've had several dips into depression in the past but nothing serious enough to go on medication, although a few doctors have suggested it. Like you, I definitely feel like it's more of a crutch and I just don't like the idea of popping a pill to make the pain go away. I journal, I read a lot, and I have a few really good friends who have stuck by me during the years. That definitely helps. And I live for today. A few years ago I lost my job which was both incredibly scary and a little bit exhilarating since I really hated my job but liked having a steady paycheck. For a long time I was depressed and confused, but I kept a career journal to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. One thing led to another, and now I'm back in school and getting my masters... the future is still uncertain but I feel a little better about dealing with it.

The fact that you're addressing your issues head on right now shows how much you're committed to making the change in your life. It's never easy to take that first step, but that's all you can do. Take it step by step, moment to moment.

Somnambulist, suicide is never a solution. I nearly came close once... a long time ago when I was about 11 or 12. Sometimes when I think back on it, I would have missed out on so much over the years-- good and bad. But that's life. When I hear that line in Once More with Feeling, when Spike sings, "Life is not bliss. Life is just this-- it's living," I get really emotional because it's so true. You have to keep on living and find whatever joy you can out of life because despite all the crap that goes on, there's a lot of good in the world too.

[The Night Lord]

Aug 18, 2010 17:21:46 GMT -5 forgottendreamer said:

Nightlord i'm sorry to hear that it has been such a constant companion to you, and from such a young age. What issues cause you this now, if you don't mind me asking?

My dad used to smack me around quite a bit if I got into real bad trouble and so did my mother, though not very much. Always getting into trouble and getting hit sometimes, plus I was constantly picked on at school from like year four to year ten. I always had a habit of making mistakes that were bad and I get into trouble and those mistakes reminds me of how much of a failure I can be and that I always seem to disappoint a lot of people. As a result, while I feel like being chaotic and rebellious cuz that's how I feel half the time, I can't because I'm way too cautious and worrisome about getting into trouble

[sarahcullen90]

I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression and Social Anxiety Disorder when I was 16 (about 4 years ago). I used to go to counceling, but stopped when my insurance stopped. I haven't been since the most traumatizing thing in my life happened to me, but I deal with it now better than right after it happened. I've never taken medicine for it, but I think I might need it. I also have the suspicion that I might be bi-polar.

[sarahcullen90]

Aug 18, 2010 11:47:43 GMT -5 SOMNAMBULIST 2.0 said:

5) One of my two best friends is suffering from depression and she was tricked into getting medicine for it by her mother, but it hasn't helped

How can you say "tricked into getting medicine" and say it like medication is a bad thing. Its been proven to help people handle their depression. It doesn't help on everyone, but overall it usually does.

[The Girl In Question]

I think the problem with depression is the name. People think depression is just being depressed, when the actually illness is so much more than that. My depression doesn't just make me sad. It makes me have terrible anxiety, it makes me obsessive, it makes me feel guilty, it makes me paranoid, it makes me had ADD tendencies, and a bunch of other things I'm sure others here have experienced. I wish depression had a different name, because most people I have encountered don't take it seriously, which is one of the reasons I don't like to tell people I know. Anyone have this not-being-taken-seriously problem?

[The Night Lord]

Yep! Which is why I don't tell people about it, cuz they'll laugh or shrug it off and think I'll get over it. However, I don't think I can ever really get over it unless I can get to a point where I don't have that worry anymore. But, I don't really see that happening anytime soon, so I'll just deal with it until then

[Billie Erin]

I don't think the name of the illness "depression" should be changed, I think people should stop using "depressed" as a slang word when that's not what they mean. It's like when people say they're starving- it really gets on my nerves that people make colloquialisms out of serious issues.

[AngelFaith]

I'm so sorry to hear that so many of you have been through depression/anxiety. I feel for all you guys and can definitely empathise.

I have suffered from depression on and off since I was about fourteen. When it first hit, my parents refused to believe that I had it, so I didn't receive any help or medication.

After this, I started to think like my parents, that maybe I didn't have depression and was blowing my problems way out of proportion and making a big deal out of nothing. This way of thinking became so set and so bad, that after I escaped from a physically and sexually abusive relationship, I refused to deal with the fall out because I, once again, thought I was blowing things out of proportion.

I finally started to see a psychologist who diagnosed me with severe depression and post traumatic stress disorder. I was put on meds and started regression therapy, but it still took a few years before I finally started to get better.

These days I'm off meds, no signs of depression, but my psychologist warned me that what I went through in my violent relationship may have changed me forever and that I may never be one hundred per cent again. For now, I'm just happy that I finally sorted myself out and am doing much better these days.

[Scarygothgirl]

I was thinking of starting a thread like this myself *karma*

I think I started being depressed when I was in yr9 (when I was 13), but when I read back over my old diaries it seems it went on for a while before then. But I've always remembered myself as having a normal happy childhood, which does differ with my old diaries, but I'd rather believe I was a happy kid even if those memories are fake.
But yes I was at my worst when I was 13 if I remember rightly, which was when I started to dabble in solvant abuse and self harm. The solvant abuse fizzled out, but the self harm didn't. I ended up quite addicted to that (but I've been free of it for nine months now!). Even though I recall yr9 as being my worst year, my suicide attempt was in yr10. It wasn't really a properly thought out suicide attempt, it was more an impulse thing, I went to the medicine cabinet to get some sleeping pills (my insomnia has coincided with my depression) and I wondered what would happen if I took everythin in the cupboard. I woke up four days later with no recollection of what happened within those days.
During the long summer between yr11 and sixthform I ended up going out and drinking alot with my now ex-bestfriend. Which made me discover how much alcohol numbs you to everything, so I ended up becoming an alcoholic for most of the first half of sixthform. I didn't realise I was alcohol-dependant until there was a point where I couldn't get any and started feeling withdrawral effects. It was annoying because a few months after I'd gotten through my alcohol-dependance someone at school was caught with alcohol at school and they had this big assembley about how the teachers will notice if you're drinking in school (they never noticed me, they just thought I'd become more friendly and outgoing over the summer) and how if anyone was struggling with any addictions they could get safe free confidential help. Why was none of that available when I needed it?
In sixthform I changed friendship groups and started hanging out with people who also had trouble with depression and self harm, it was refreshing knowing that I wasn't the only one. I like to think we helped eachother. We even went through a few months where we had a pact that we would all give up self harm, and if one of us broke the pact thatwould give the other two a 'free one' (this worked because none of us wanted the others to be hurting themselves). But That didn't entirely work out.

Now I've left school and it's summer and I have no pressure on me I'm feeling a whole lot better, I'm even able to sleep which is fantastic. But I'm worried that as soon as summer's over everything will come flooding back.
One of my doctors wants me to take antidepressants, but I refuse to until I see that they are medically relevant to the symptoms I was complaining of (he read that i'd been to see some psychologists and must have figured my physical pain is just a symptom, which is so wrong).

Sorry I kinda rambled on for a while... So that's half my life story.

[AngelFaith]

^^ Thanks Som. I'm sorry to hear about yours too. Luckily, all of us afflicted have these wonderful boards to come and vent to.

[The Night Lord]

This is probably the reason why I get so obsessed with multiple fandoms and seem to constantly live in it if I can. It seems like a way out of my life, which I don't enjoy and loose myself in fandom, which imo is more enjoyable than real life. Half the time I wish that half the fandom I love was actually my life because they seem sooo much better

[iigreenii]

I think everyone suffers from depression at some point. Some worse than others. I have Social Anxiety and it's really a pain. I get anxious/nervous about small things which keeps me from actually living my life. I refuse to take mediation for my anxiety because to me it's not a solution or cure.

I remember watching a show where a girl was suffering from depression and was seeing a therapist. Her therapist told her something along the lines of "There is no cure for depression.You just wake up feeling better than you did the day before."

I think this is really true. I just find things I like doing to keep my mind off it like exercising,music,reading or watching tv (which really helps for me). Watching TV helps me to get wrapped up in someone else's life.For a short period of time at least.

[sarahcullen90]

Aug 21, 2010 19:47:58 GMT -5 The Night Lord said:

This is probably the reason why I get so obsessed with multiple fandoms and seem to constantly live in it if I can. It seems like a way out of my life, which I don't enjoy and loose myself in fandom, which imo is more enjoyable than real life. Half the time I wish that half the fandom I love was actually my life because they seem sooo much better

That's about how I am as well. Reading is so much an escape for me. Not just fanfiction, but also many types of books, especially fantasy. I love reading because it takes me away from my own personal hell.

Somnambulist- Just because your friend seemed to not be suffering from depression at the time she was put on medication, does not mean that she wasn't depressed and didn't need it. Everyone with depression can have that time where they don't necessarily feel depressed.
iigreenii- I too suffer from social anxiety disorder. Though, unlike you my depression did not stem from it. It is very difficult to live with, especially if you are in school (when teachers make you speak in front of the whole class is the worst for me).