What do you think of the term "queer"?

[Darth Rosie]

Hey there, here's another question for my dearest SlayAlivers. I'm reading a master's thesis on queer theory and television (unfortunately nothing about Buffy in there) - and here is what has come up. Time and again people in German speaking countries claim that the term queer has been completely claimed by the queer community, that queer is a term used proudly that does not work as an insult anymore. I am not so sure. So I wanted to ask you what are your experiences: if you are lesbian or gay: do you use the term queer to label yourself? What do you think of other people using it. To all of you, gay or straight or queer or whatever: what do you think?

Thanks in advance, I'm looking forward to reading loads of fascinating stuff!

[Astray]

I usually say "gay/lesbian" instead of "queer". I still use "queer" to describe something strange so I don't usually use it to refer to homosexuals. If someone called me " a queer" I would think they were insulting me..

[Jaz ♀♀]

You know, the word "queer" where i live is not really used all too much. I've never defined myself as queer. I've never really heard it said as an insult by any of the homophobic people i've met. I think the LGBT community has claimed the over all meaning of that word...i mean technically the acronym to define the community is LGBTQI ( Lesbian, Gay, Transgendered, Queer/Questioning, Intersex).

I think in this day in age, there is so much terms and definitions to describe someone and to try to understand their sexual nature which is kinda impossible because there's so much sexual fluidity out there. So when i think of the word "queer"( in the LGBTQI acronym), I think it's just grouping the people who consider themselves "different". In the sense that they don't label themselves as gay or straight. They just are who they are. Erm, did that make sense? lol

[Darth Rosie]

^^ That makes loads of sense in all its complexity

What I am really wondering is how successful the LGBTQI-community has been in appropriating and re-signifying the term queer. For one, there is academia, celebrating sexual fluidity. (Sometimes I think there is more sexual fluidity in theory than in practice, but that's just me, conventional ol' lesbian). Queer Theory. But on the other hand, it seems to me that many of the old pracitices of naming and shaming are still intact. Take the use of the term "gay" to denote something as "not cool". And queer - after all the appropriation, still an insult. (Such as the German term "schwul" equalling gay, which is used on schoolyards for everything uncool).

So: I'm wondering how much the practice of language has changed, that is, how successful the LGBTQI movement has been. Something like that.

[Miss. Rogueh]

Anyone under 21 that uses this term usualy isn't being derogitory however anyone over 30 that uses it needs to be kicked in the mouth. Because more then likely they are trying to be rude... There are of course exceptions.

[Angel Beast]

When I was a kid my only association to gay and queer were to their definitions. Gay being happy, queer being strange or odd. I didn't know it was also associated with being homosexual. So as a kid using gay as insult for me had nothing to do with a person's sexual preference it was just using a word to mean something opposite of it's definition.

[jellymoff]

Oct 19, 2010 6:04:12 GMT -5 Miss. Rogueh said:

Anyone under 21 that uses this term usualy isn't being derogitory however anyone over 30 that uses it needs to be kicked in the mouth. Because more then likely they are trying to be rude... There are of course exceptions.

I don't follow. Why does the users age matter? I don't use the word, out of respect for anyone it might offend. I am also over 30. Are you saying that people over 30 generally are used to the word queer being derogatory therefore if they use it it must be in an insulting manner?

On another note, maybe someone can help me with my own question. This may sound silly, and I am in no way trying to make fun or be offensive when I ask this: Why is it necessary to distinguish "Lesbian" from "Gay". Aren't lesbians gay?

[Darth Rosie]

Oct 19, 2010 9:48:32 GMT -5 jellymoff said:

On another note, maybe someone can help me with my own question. This may sound silly, and I am in no way trying to make fun or be offensive when I ask this: Why is it necessary to distinguish "Lesbian" from "Gay". Aren't lesbians gay?

In a way they (we) are, but gay also has male connotations, so lesbian is the more specific term.

[alex_krycek]

i used to use the word to describe something odd or perplexing. i understand how some may take offense (rightly so), so i've refrained. but that is how i've always interpreted the word.

[AngelFaith]

The term "queer" was never really used when I was growing up, or even now, really. If someone was gay, that's the term they would use.

Whever I hear the word queer I assume someone is using it to mean "odd" or "weird". I don't really associate it with being gay. It might just be my part of Aus or just the people I hang out with, but I have rarely (if ever) heard it used to describe someone who is gay.

[outofphase]

This is very interesting. Almost everyone I know in the local Lgbt community identifies themselves as queer or at least doesn't have an issue being called it. I know I'm totally cool with identifying myself as queer. I don't see it as an insult at all.

[nl197]

I'm in the camp of thinking it's more of an insult as well.

I also have an example:

A month ago or so there was a major apartment building fire a short distance from what is known as the "Gay Village" in Toronto.

In one of the local LGBT publications there was an article about how the community-at-large was offering assistance, but this is how the article phrased the title:

"Queers swing into action to help Wellesley fire victims", and repeated it again in the article itself.

Here's the article:

www.xtra.ca/public/Toronto/Queers_swing_into_action_to_help_Wellesley_fire_victims-9206.aspx

How this relates to this thread, is all in the reader comments.

There was a strong leaning toward the word being more of an insult than anything else.

[Darth Rosie]

Outofphase, may I ask where your local lgbt community is located at?

NL, thank you particularly for the link, this is just the kind of material I was looking for. I had known the term queer was contested, but I had no idea how bitter the debates are.

Looking forward to reading even more from you, this spectrum of answers I am getting is fascinating and very helpful for my further thinking.

[Miss. Rogueh]

Oct 19, 2010 9:48:32 GMT -5 jellymoff said:

Oct 19, 2010 6:04:12 GMT -5 Miss. Rogueh said:

Anyone under 21 that uses this term usualy isn't being derogitory however anyone over 30 that uses it needs to be kicked in the mouth. Because more then likely they are trying to be rude... There are of course exceptions.

I don't follow. Why does the users age matter? I don't use the word, out of respect for anyone it might offend. I am also over 30. Are you saying that people over 30 generally are used to the word queer being derogatory therefore if they use it it must be in an insulting manner?

In my experience people over 30 use it in a more derogatory way.

There are of course exceptions.

If you hadn't noticed I did leave room for those that in my opinon are more open minded. Looking over the number though I guess I should change that to over 40...

[VampSlayer]

I'm not gay, and I don't have any issues with homosexual people, but when someone refers to you as a 'queer' they most likely mean it in an offensive way.

[Randi Giles]

Oct 19, 2010 1:25:41 GMT -5 Darth Rosie said:

Hey there, here's another question for my dearest SlayAlivers. I'm reading a master's thesis on queer theory and television (unfortunately nothing about Buffy in there) - and here is what has come up.

First I'm going to have to say this annoys me. Either people don't know or people forgot that it was BTVS to show the first lesbian sex scene on broadcast television. I thinks that's worthy of being in a thesis.

As for your question I almost never hear that word being used and if I do it's to describe something odd or weird. Actually I've heard it being used on television, referring to gay people, more than I have in my life.

[Darth Rosie]

Oct 20, 2010 19:02:32 GMT -5 Randi Giles said:

Oct 19, 2010 1:25:41 GMT -5 Darth Rosie said:

Hey there, here's another question for my dearest SlayAlivers. I'm reading a master's thesis on queer theory and television (unfortunately nothing about Buffy in there) - and here is what has come up.

First I'm going to have to say this annoys me. Either people don't know or people forgot that it was BTVS to show the first lesbian sex scene on broadcast television. I thinks that's worthy of being in a thesis.

I can tell you, this annoys me, too, and to no end. Instead the author writes about Madonna videos from the 1980s in which conventional femininity is deconstructed, but not heterosexuality. I would have thrown the thesis back to the author.

[jellymoff]

Oct 19, 2010 23:47:35 GMT -5 Miss. Rogueh said:

Oct 19, 2010 9:48:32 GMT -5 jellymoff said:

I don't follow. Why does the users age matter? I don't use the word, out of respect for anyone it might offend. I am also over 30. Are you saying that people over 30 generally are used to the word queer being derogatory therefore if they use it it must be in an insulting manner?

In my experience people over 30 use it in a more derogatory way.

There are of course exceptions.

If you hadn't noticed I did leave room for those that in my opinon are more open minded. Looking over the number though I guess I should change that to over 40...

No, I understand now why you might say that. People who are younger are generally more likely to be open-minded based on societal norms at the time that they were growing up. I think you will find thought that people my age (I am 34) are pretty open minded for the most part. We grew up with homosexuality being less of a stigma than when our parents were growing up. I think you will also find that this applies to location. People in more Urban areas (big cities like NYC, LA, SF, London) are probably more accepting as well because of the exposure that they have to different cultures. In the end, bigotry comes from fear and ignorance, and most people who take issue with homosexuality don't have any gay people in their lives.

[Scarygothgirl]

I have only used the term 'queer' to mean peculiar. I am aware of the usage of it to mean gay but I have never heard it been used as an insult. If I were to hear someone using it as an insult it would confuse me as I just see it as a word meaning peculiar. There seems a trend in people saying 'that's so gay' when they mean 'that's stupid'. I tend to point out that people shouldn't use gay as a derogitory word but no-one takes much notice of me, I even have gay friends who use it as an insult to other people. Why people feel the need to insult people who are different from themselves is completely beyond me...

[Josh]

I honestly cannot remember the last time I've heard somebody say "Queer" but I do know that every time I have heard it used, it's been from someone who has tried to use it to offend someone else. I don't believe I've ever heard someone use it in real life with the intention of it meaning peculiar.