Why Does Willow Choose Tara?

[midwesternwatcher]

Remember that in season 4, Willow lost Oz and then formed a new relationship with Tara. Later Oz returned (I forget the name of the episode) and she had to choose between them.

Why do you suppose she preferred Tara? What does Tara do for her that Oz doesn't? I'd like to hear some views.

[The Girl In Question]

At that point in the story I didn't get it, because Tara Season 4 got on my nerves, and I love me some Oz. But one thing Tara had over him was that Tara was never unfaithful to Willow. But I'll let the Tara lovers take it away

[VampSlayer]

I think, because they had a spiritual connection. I just think Willow and Tara were meant to be. Soul mates, if I do say so myself. ;D

[midwesternwatcher]

Soul mates they may be, but I'd like to get a little more "reason why" if I can. Here's a thought I'd like to put out. In Willow-Oz, I felt that Oz was the "senior partner." While I don't suppose he often, or ever, "laid down the law" for Willow, I suspect he took the lead and made the decisions most of the time. In Willow-Tara, I felt that Willow was the senior partner. Maybe Willow liked that role. Does that sound right?

[Inappropriate Starches]

Things weren't the same between her and Oz anymore. They had both gone through a lot since he left and they weren't the same people. She said things were different because of Tara and in part they were, it wasn't just how she felt for her but the new parts of herself that she found through Tara. She was just in a different place, she still loved Oz but that's not where she was.

Also on the other hand you could say she simply realized she's gay, but I do think it's a lot more complicated than that.

[tkts]

Apr 14, 2010 22:56:02 GMT -5 midwesternwatcher said:

Soul mates they may be, but I'd like to get a little more "reason why" if I can. Here's a thought I'd like to put out. In Willow-Oz, I felt that Oz was the "senior partner." While I don't suppose he often, or ever, "laid down the law" for Willow, I suspect he took the lead and made the decisions most of the time. In Willow-Tara, I felt that Willow was the senior partner. Maybe Willow liked that role. Does that sound right?

Willow refers to herself as the "junior partner" in comparison to Tara, so I don't think she sees herself in a "senior partner" role.

Going back to the original question, I'm actually not sure this is a question that can be answered. Decisions like the choice Willow made in "New Moon Rising" generally don't come from analyzing a bunch of different factors; they come from the heart. Willow had begun to fall in love with Tara -- and even though she clearly still loved Oz and had strong feelings for him, she'd probably begun to fall a little bit out of love with him. It's not that Tara did X, Y and Z for her that Oz didn't; it's just that her feelings had begun to move in a different direction and she followed them.

[Darth Rosie]

Willow, I think, had just had to wait too long for Oz to return. By the time he did return she was in a way over with him. She had found something new she wanted to explore. And I believe that deep inside she didn't trust Oz. The love she felt for him just wasn't enough anymore. Tara she could trust.

[AngelFaith]

I agree with tkts that you can't really analyse this question properly. It's not like we can climb inside Willow's head to find the answer. However, if I was going to have a go at it, I would say it comes down to lots of factors.

1. Oz cheated on her. That kind of betrayal leaves scarrs that never fully heal.
2. Oz then left her, another betrayal that would have hurt her terribly.
3. It's been months since she has seen Oz, giving her time to start getting over him. She obviously still has feelings for him, but they have subdued over time.
4. Quite simply, she fell in love with Tara and if you add that to point #3, it's quite obvious why she chose Tara.

Nehoo, that's my opinion.

[midwesternwatcher]

Willow refers to herself as the junior partner in comparison to Tara? When did that happen? I'd like to look it up.

[El Diablo Robotico]

Apr 15, 2010 18:37:05 GMT -5 midwesternwatcher said:

Willow refers to herself as the junior partner in comparison to Tara? When did that happen? I'd like to look it up.

"Tough Love", the fight they have in their room right before Glory sucks Tara's brain.

[monkeywrench]

I think Willow still loved Oz but was falling out of love with him and at the same time was falling in love with Tara and discovering new things about herself and starting afresh.

[Randi Giles]

By the time Oz came back she had simply moved on. Though I prefer Oz really she was in this kind of unspoken relationship with Tara. Oz was leaving anyway and she had fallen for Tara and wanted to continue to explore a new relationship with her.

[elenasaur]

Well, Oz hurt Willow, not just with the cheating (Willow cheated on him too, so that arguably evens the score), but because he just left without saying a thing. She may have still loved Oz when he returned, but he was still away for a while. The pain of his abandonment was fading, but so were her feelings as a whole.

And then there's Tara, who Willow has real chemistry with. Their combined power was pretty intense when we first saw it in Hush. I don't think that Willow finally moved the vending machine with Tara's help just because she was a strong witch.
Tara is new, and exciting, and a lot of things Oz wasn't. I guess with Tara Willow was exploring her sexuality, but I think she was exploring more than that. Her relationship with Oz was nice enough, but it really wasn't as intense as it was with Tara, so I expect Willow was having a lot of new feelings she didn't have with Oz. It made perfect sense for her to choose Tara.

[buffyfan21]

I wouldn't say that Willow exactly "chose" Tara, more like it's just something that happened. Willow says herself that it's not even something she was looking for. I think she just felt drawn to Tara. It's like the two of them just had an instant connection, unlike anything Willow had felt before, even with Oz. The relationship with Tara was something new and fresh for Willow. I think she was perfectly right in wanting to see where it would lead. Not to diminish what Willow had with Oz, but I just think that when he returned, whatever the two may have had was long done by that point and it was simply time to move on. I'm not even certain that Willow choosing Tara was a conscious choice on her part. It's pretty clear that she was following her heart. The heart wants what the heart wants, and it lead her to Tara.

[DingOz]

It's interesting how Willow ends up with Tara, possibly because lack of trust in Oz, but then she betrays Tara's trust later on.

Boo, bad Willow, boo.

[swanstoon]

This is my first ever post anywhere on this forum,having only joined a few minutes ago. This is a topic that interests me 'cos Tara's my favourite character.

I'm pretty sure Tara fell for Willow from the moment of their first encounter in the Wicca group in 'Hush' & then in the Refectory at the end of the episode when she says that Willow is special.

Willow sensed she may've been gay in 'Doppelgangland' so perhaps Tara is just drawing it out of her.And there's a scene in one of those final three episodes of Season 6 that I have difficulty watching where Willow says something like 'there were moments,just moments,when Tara would look it me like I was something special you know & now I'll never,ever have that again'

Anyhow,those are some random thoughts off the top of my head & I'm sure more will come to me when I go away & think about it.

[Silver]

I think that they had a natural connection for each other. They had a few things in common, both shy and both into magic. Besides there is no logic when it comes to love and its clear that they did love each other. As for Oz, from what I remember he was mad at Willow for her going out with Tara, he's a fine one to talk, I seem to remember that he was interested in another werewolf [agreed a female one].

[Skytteflickan88]

Apr 14, 2010 20:56:01 GMT -5 midwesternwatcher said:

Remember that in season 4, Willow lost Oz and then formed a new relationship with Tara. Later Oz returned (I forget the name of the episode) and she had to choose between them.

Why do you suppose she preferred Tara? What does Tara do for her that Oz doesn't? I'd like to hear some views.

I'm not actually sure if she did choose her. Don't get me wrong, if she could have choosen between cures Oz and Tara, she might have picked Tara because she loved her, but we'll never know, because Oz wasn't cured, and had to leave, which means Willow might still have been in doubt when he left.

(Oz and Willow sitting in Oz's van.)

WILLOW: This thing looks pretty good, considering you drove it overseas.

OZ: Well, it broke down outside of Mexico, and I traded my bass to have it fixed and garaged.

(Pause.)

OZ: I shouldn't have come back now.... I just thought I'd changed.

WILLOW: You have changed. (Smiles) You stopped the wolf from coming out. I saw it.

OZ: But I couldn't look at you. I mean, it turns out... the one thing that brings it out in me is you... which falls under the heading of ironic in my book.

WILLOW: It was my fault. I upset you.

OZ: Well, so we're safe then, (sarcastic) cause you'll never do that again. But... you're happy?

WILLOW: (smiles) I am. I can't explain it-

OZ: It may be safer for both os us if you don't.

WILLOW: I missed you, Oz. I wrote you so many letters... but I didn't have any place to send them, you know? I couldn't live like that.

OZ: It was stupid to think that you'd just be... waiting.

WILLOW: I was waiting. I feel like some part of me will always be waiting for you. Like if I'm old and blue-haired, and I turn the corner in Istanbul and there you are, I won't be surprised. Because... you're with me, you know?

OZ: I know. (Pause) But now is not that time, I guess.

WILLOW: No. (pause) What are you gonna do?

OZ: I think I better take off.

WILLOW: When?

OZ: Pretty much now.

This conversation implies she's moved on, and would have said no anyway (It kind of seems like she says, "I've moved past you") but who knows what would have happened if he had stayed?

From what I saw in season 5 and 6, her and Tara's love was very strong, and I think it might have been stronger than what she felt for Oz, at that point in her life, probably for some of the reasons mentioned above (having moved on from Oz, the cheating still hurt, Tara and Willow having a stronger connection, etc etc).

EDIT-

May 13, 2010 16:04:19 GMT -5 Silver said:

I think that they had a natural connection for each other. They had a few things in common, both shy and both into magic. Besides there is no logic when it comes to love and its clear that they did love each other. As for Oz, from what I remember he was mad at Willow for her going out with Tara, he's a fine one to talk, I seem to remember that he was interested in another werewolf [agreed a female one].

I don't remember him being angry with Willow, but his did wolf out and chase Tara, but after that, he seemed fine. I don't think he ever blamed her for moving on, not in words, not in his heart.

[Silver]

May 13, 2010 17:09:08 GMT -5 Skytteflickan88 said:

Apr 14, 2010 20:56:01 GMT -5 midwesternwatcher said:

Remember that in season 4, Willow lost Oz and then formed a new relationship with Tara. Later Oz returned (I forget the name of the episode) and she had to choose between them.

Why do you suppose she preferred Tara? What does Tara do for her that Oz doesn't? I'd like to hear some views.

I'm not actually sure if she did choose her. Don't get me wrong, if she could have choosen between cures Oz and Tara, she might have picked Tara because she loved her, but we'll never know, because Oz wasn't cured, and had to leave, which means Willow might still have been in doubt when he left.



This conversation implies she's moved on, and would have said no anyway (It kind of seems like she says, "I've moved past you") but who knows what would have happened if he had stayed?

From what I saw in season 5 and 6, her and Tara's love was very strong, and I think it might have been stronger than what she felt for Oz, at that point in her life, probably for some of the reasons mentioned above (having moved on from Oz, the cheating still hurt, Tara and Willow having a stronger connection, etc etc).

EDIT-

May 13, 2010 16:04:19 GMT -5 Silver said:

I think that they had a natural connection for each other. They had a few things in common, both shy and both into magic. Besides there is no logic when it comes to love and its clear that they did love each other. As for Oz, from what I remember he was mad at Willow for her going out with Tara, he's a fine one to talk, I seem to remember that he was interested in another werewolf [agreed a female one].

I don't remember him being angry with Willow, but his did wolf out and chase Tara, but after that, he seemed fine. I don't think he ever blamed her for moving on, not in words, not in his heart.

You're probably right, it's been some time since I've seen that particular episode (good excuse to watch it ;D, I remembered that Oz was upset with someone.

[bthomas]

I am sure this has been touched on already, but here are the facts:

Willow cheated on Oz with Xander
Oz cheated on Willow with Veruca

So right there, neither one can trust the other. If you don't have trust, there is no relationship.