I miss my friend :(

[whitecandy]

One of my closest friends moved away last weekend and I really miss him already. We worked together for three years, and also dated for a while, but we remained really good friends. He lived about ten minutes from my house and he used to come over for coffee all the time, and we hung out watching television and messing about.

I have been really ill for the last few months and he has been there for me through it all, even letting me stay at his house when I was at my worst, and staying in the hospital with me. When my boyfriend had to go away for two weeks before Christmas, he moved into my house to look after me as I was afraid of being on my own with being so ill.

I feel so empty that he has gone and just wondered if anyone here had been through a similar thing and had any advice for me? I just feel really sad all the time and keep crying. I feel bad though as my boyfriend is being really understanding about it all but I am not sure how I would feel if a girl he knew moved away and he was so upset over it, if that makes sense? He said he understands that I am sad about my friend going and that it will get easier, but I just feel like I need a quick fix now

He is only a few hours away but the trains are really expensive and I also don't want to be a burden on him when he is starting a new life. He has text me every day since he went, but it isn't the same...

[wenxina]

I'm sorry for your sense of loss, but just remember that he's still in your life. It's just the order of things that's changed, and time will definitely help you transition out of your funk.

[drusillacakes]

Aww, I'm sorry. It's really hard when someone you are so close to leaves, and it's kind of like a fresh start for you as well as for your friend. One of my best friends, whom I've known for about 14 years moved to the other side of the world (to Japan) for a job. She's been there for a couple of years now but I miss her everyday. But we are avid snail mailers, and we write long emails to each other all the time and arrange phone calls. The phone calls don't happen as often because of the crazy time difference, but getting a letter or a postcard from her really brightens up my day.

It takes some getting used to, but he's just a phone call away. You could also arrange to watch your favorite shows together while chatting online or on the phone, and I think making those plans will give you something to look forward to. I'm so sorry to hear about your illness. I think the most important thing is to focus on your recovery. I'm sure your friend wouldn't want you stressing right now. I believe if you can get through the next couple of weeks, it should get easier.

You keep on living your life, and being fabulous and doing the things that you enjoy so you can tell him all about it. Feel better hun.

[Miss. Rogueh]

First I have to say Drusillacakes Fantastic Banner!!!

Alright back on topic now... Being a x-navy wife I can relate. We were stationed in a town for almost 4 years. We lived in Military Housing so I made alot of friends in the neighborhood just to watch them move out. It was especialy hard when my husband was out at sea when they left. Feel relieved that you have such an awesome boyfriend to lean on. It will feel better eventaully.

[whitecandy]

Thank you all for your kind words and for making me feel that it will all get easier some day soon.

You are so right wenxina, he is still with me, just not down the road anymore, and eventually it will all start to fall into place again.

I love the idea of watching tv shows together Drusillacakes, thanks for suggesting it! He is hopefully getting the internet soon which will make it so much easier to keep in touch. I'm sorry to hear that one of your best friends moved so far away, I guess I am lucky that my friend is only a train ride away (even if it is a long one!) and it won't be anywhere near as difficult as it is for you.

He has promised to send me some photos of his new flat and office when he gets settled, and I promised to send him a photo of tiki Buffy when she arrives! It is definitely a good idea to have things to look forward to and send each other stuff to cheer each other up.

Things must have been so tough for you Miss. Rogueh, with your friends moving away and your husband being away too My boyfriend is amazing and I am so lucky to have him and his support.

My friend collects dragons, and with me being welsh, I bought him a dragon made of welsh coal. He said he has it on his bedside table to protect him in the night, which made me smile His role playing group he has been part of since he was at university is here so I am hoping he may come back for that sometimes too, and I can tag along My boyfriend said he can stay here at weekends too if he wants to come and visit.

I think it is just the weirdness of him not being here all the time. Like today I am off work sick, which I am quite a lot, and usually he would come over and keep me company so I wasn't on my own (he is a researcher and university lecturer, so can pretty much pick and choose his hours of work, so if I was at home poorly, he would take the day off or bring work to my house to do instead).

We share a birthday (20th March) and we always do something together for it as we also share the same friends. Our friends here are planning to take me out for dinner this year, and have invited him too, so hopefully he may be back soon

[buffyfan21]

Sorry to hear that you've been having such a hard time. I too, have a friend that lives several states away. We keep in touch regularly through phone calls, texts, and instant message chats. He is also a huge Buffy fan like me, so we even sit on the phone and watch Buffy eps together sometimes. That can be a lot of fun. Yes, the distance can be hard, but it is a comfort to know you have someone out there who will always care for you and is just a call away. I know its not the same as having them near, but you can do things to make the distance between you seem a little less great.

[whitecandy]

Thanks Buffyfan21 and EvilWillowRocker for your advice You are both right, the physical distance is nothing really when I think about how close we are emotionally. It is just a change to routine and so many things make me think of him. I had to go to my hospital appointments this afternoon, and he aways used to come with me, so it was strange him not being there. He did text beforehand though to wish me luck, which made me smile that he was thinking about me having to go

[Billie Erin]

I'm so sorry for your loss, it's really hard when a friend moves away. Last year my best friend of five years switched schools, so I know what you're going through. I keep saying our in-jokes then turning around and realising that she's not there to get them But when I do see her it's just like old times again, the emotional connection will always still be there, and chatting to her on the phone and msn does help.

It will get better, if you need him then you maybe need to talk to this friend about how you feel, if he misses you too then you can work out seeing each other more often perhaps? ALthough personally I'd say that it's likemoving out of home- don't go back too often or you'll never be able to stay away

[whitecandy]

Thanks Billie Erin Sorry to hear that your best friend moved away too, it is so hard to adjust and just learn to get on with things.

My friend and I worked together for two and a half years, so as well as sharing the same friends and social activities, we saw each other every day at work, and sometimes got the bus to and from work together. It is the little things like that that now seem odd, like when we went on nights out in town, he would always walk me home so I was safe.

I want to talk to him about how much I miss him, but also want to let him start his new life (which is a fantastic opportunity for him career wise) without any sad feelings for him. I think he misses me just as much as he has text me every day since he left.

We share a birthday (next Saturday) and he has said he will *hopefully* be coming to stay for it, so I am super excited!! But then I will have to say goodbye again, which is really hard...

You are right about the not going back to often as I won't be able to stay away, I do worry that the more I see him, the harder it will get every time we say goodbye

[Billie Erin]

Enjoy seeing him on your birthday as long as you have a valid excuse for seeing him it shouldn't be bad
And as for making him feel bad, if he misses you as much as you miss him (which his texting would indicate) then talking openly about it will be good for both of you, by getting your feelings in the open you can deal with them

[Whedon Fan]

Ahhh. Is it really going to be that bad?

My best friend is moving away in September because he wants to go to University/College. I met him through work and we quickly became good friends, same interests, same stupid sense of humour. Left that job for a new one but we still stayed good friends. He really is like a brother to me

Go out all the time every weekend we get a chance we hit a club/cinema or just chuck on the ps3 so he can kick my ass at Call Of Duty. . .I am terrible at it. Ha! Type of friend where you can have a massive argument one minute then the next it's like it never happened.

Always stay at his, mostly cos we get that drunk and just stumble to his because his is closer to town than mine. Always seems like a good idea at the time then you need to do the walk of shame home on the bus in last nights clothes. Ha Ha!

Was at his last week and his mum asked what we're going to do when he moves away. I was like "eh what now"?! He'd not told me yet and course his mum kind of just let it out not realising. Was shocked, he'd talked about moving away and going to university last year but never really mentioned it after that.

We ended up stupidly arguing about all this the other day, we never fell out over it. Just vented all of it really. Knew it was going to happen eventually, probably going to happen again. Ha! We never fall out over anything just have stupid mini arguments then thats it back to being best buds again.

Going to be terrible when he moves away. Obviously don't want him to move but at the same time he has to because he needs to get his degrees and stuff to get into Law. I am training to be a joiner so I'm set for four years where I am right now but he has to leave now. Already "lost" a big group of friends last year to university, the groups are thining now. What's happening?

Feel like I'm losing all my friends, still see them when they come back home for a bit every so often or If I go through to see them but it's not the same as when you are used to seeing someone a lot then suddenly once every few weeks/months even.

I know it probably just seems like I should man up but any advice??

[whitecandy]

Thanks Billie I am really looking forward to seeing him, I just hope he can make it!

Whedon Fan - I'm really sorry to hear that your best friend is moving away. As everyone here as said to me, we should be feeling happy that our friends are going to experience such great things and further themselves in life, but there is still that little selfish piece of us that wants to keep them close and never let them go, however beneficial it may be for them.

Your relationship with your friend sounds very similar to the one I have with mine. Met through work, became really good friends, same interests, hang out all the time doing anything and everything, doesn't matter if it is hitting the town or staying in watching tv, it is all good because it is with them.

It is a huge shock when they eventually go. Even leading up to them leaving, it still doesn't feel like they are actually going to leave, if that makes sense! The first couple of days aren't too bad, as you just feel like maybe they haven't popped over as they are ill or something, but then it starts to sink in and you start to really miss them.

All I can say is take the wonderful advice the slayalivers have given me, make sure you talk regularly (not the same as being together, but better than nothing) send each other photos of the stuff you have been up to (I send my friend photos of the new buffy figures I buy ) and make arrangements to see each other as often as you can, but without living in each others pockets while you are both trying to start a new chapter of your life.

A lot of my other friends have moved away recently too, all for bigger and better jobs, and its horrible, as nights out now seem so small and quiet with only half as many people there.

It is sad but all part of life. Unfortunately, life can't be like Friends, where everyone lives in the same building and spends all their time together, although I would love it if it was