outofphase
Wise-cracking Techno Genius
Three sides of a Robric Cube.
[Mo0:26]
Posts: 757
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Post by outofphase on Oct 19, 2010 21:53:48 GMT -5
We need to get that burger analyzed. We need to find out if it used to be people.
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Post by iigreenii on Oct 21, 2010 15:00:12 GMT -5
Doyle walks up to police station door. It's locked.
Cop through the door: "We're closed." Doyle: "You're the police! You can't close." Cop: "Why not? Haven't we done enough? It's always 'find this, rescue that' with you people. Well, see how you like it!"
Cop pulls down the blind hard and rips it off
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Post by orangejuicepony on Oct 21, 2010 20:33:40 GMT -5
JOYCE: Buffy?! Where have you been? Are you okay? The police were here! I've been looking for you!
BUFFY: Mom, let's, let's go inside, and I can explain.
JOYCE: Who is this man? Who are you? Are you okay?
BUFFY: Mom! I'm-I'm okay.
JOYCE: Buffy, terrible things have happened. What were you doing?
SPIKE: What, your mum doesn't know?
JOYCE: Know what?
BUFFY: That I'm, uh... in a band. A-a rock band with Spike here.
SPIKE: Right. She plays the, the triangle.
BUFFY: Drums.
SPIKE: Drums, yeah. She's, uh, hell on the old skins, you know.
JOYCE: Hmm. And, uh, what do you do?
SPIKE: Well, I sing.
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Post by iigreenii on Oct 22, 2010 23:47:07 GMT -5
DAWN: Oh my god. You will never believe what happened at school today.
BUFFY: Everybody started singing and dancing?
Dawn looks disappointed.
DAWN: I gave birth to a pterodactyl.
ANYA: Oh my god, did it sing?
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Post by orangejuicepony on Oct 22, 2010 23:52:50 GMT -5
BUFFY: Well, lately, I, uh... Oh, Tara, hey- Amy?!
AMY: The whole school? By a giant snake thing. Okay, still adjusting. Hi Buffy.
BUFFY: Hi. How've you been?
AMY: Rat. You?
BUFFY: Dead.
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Post by iigreenii on Oct 23, 2010 16:53:19 GMT -5
Giles: Look, look, Spike — we have no intention of killing a harmless.. uh, creature.. but we have to know what's been done to you. We can't let you go until we're sure that you're .. impotent —
Spike: Hey!
Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we're sure you're, you're..
Buffy: Flaccid?
Spike: You are one step away, missy.
Buffy: (Sarcastically) Giles, help! He's going to scold me.
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Post by orangejuicepony on Oct 23, 2010 21:55:26 GMT -5
XANDER: That's it! I am way past due with you. I hate to break it to you, oh impotent one, but you're not the big bad anymore, you're not even the kind of naughty. You're nothing but a waste of space - my space! And as much as I always got a big laugh watching Buffy kick your shiny white bum, as much as I know I can give you a little bum-kicking myself right now, I'm here to tell you something. You're not even worth it. I'm out of here.
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outofphase
Wise-cracking Techno Genius
Three sides of a Robric Cube.
[Mo0:26]
Posts: 757
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Post by outofphase on Oct 24, 2010 1:02:57 GMT -5
Xander': I still don't get why we had to come here to get info about a killer snot monster. Giles: Because it's a killer snot monster from outer space... I did not say that.
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Post by iigreenii on Oct 24, 2010 16:54:29 GMT -5
Spike: I don't see why I have to be tied up.
Xander: It's just while I'm sleeping.
Spike: Like I'd bite you anyway.
Xander: Oh you would.
Spike: Not bloody likely.
Xander: I happen to be very biteable pal. I'm moist and delicious.
Spike: {Sarcastically} Alright, yeah fine you're a nummy treat.
Xander: And don't you forget it.
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Post by orangejuicepony on Oct 24, 2010 22:57:42 GMT -5
XANDER: You know those things'll kill you. Oh, right. I mention today how much I don't like you?
SPIKE: You mighta let it slip in... once or twice.
XANDER: How're your feelers?
SPIKE: Nothing compared to the little bits we're gonna get chopped into when the Renaissance Fair kicks the door in. And here we bloody sit.
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Post by afterthebattle on Oct 25, 2010 10:35:36 GMT -5
BUFFY: I am not kissing you, Spike. Once was- SPIKE: Twice. BUFFY: But not again. SPIKE: You're a tease, you know that, Slayer? Get a fellow's motor revving, let the tension marinate a couple-a days, then bam! Crown yourself the ice queen. BUFFY: Need a few more metaphors for that little mix?
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Post by orangejuicepony on Oct 25, 2010 22:03:32 GMT -5
XANDER: It's the jacket. It's true. Something about the big letter on the chest makes girls get all swoony and crushy. I saw it all the time in school. And you couldn't just pin any old felt letter to your coat and get play? not that I tried.
DAWN: It isn't a crush. It's love. I love RJ:
BUFFY: Again, since yesterday. Dawn, it's awfully fast.
DAWN: What? You're telling me I don't feel what I feel?
BUFFY: No, of course not. I believe that you think it's real. It seems real... to you.
DAWN: You know what? Maybe I don't want advice from the Dysfunction Queen. You have no idea how I feel. You have no idea what real love is. Maybe if you did, you wouldn't make fun of me this way.
BUFFY: Dawn, I'm not making fun of you.
DAWN: Just go. Leave me alone.
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Post by afterthebattle on Oct 26, 2010 16:09:56 GMT -5
Bouncer: Hey, Sweetheart. If you wanna go in, go ahead. Buffy: Actually, I need some help. I'm looking for this guy. Bleach-blond hair, leather jacket, British Accent. Kind of sallow, but in a hot way? Bouncer: Yeah, yeah, I know the guy. Billy Idol wannabe. Buffy: Actually, Billy Idol stole his look from... never mind.
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Post by orangejuicepony on Oct 26, 2010 22:56:39 GMT -5
BUFFY: Come on, Dawnie. Come out. Dawn, sweetheart, it's not that bad.
DAWN: How would you even know? R.J.'s never gonna notice me now.
BUFFY: From what you said, I'm sure he already noticed you, I mean with the falling and the? spirit. Spirit. They said you were spirited, right?
DAWN: Go away!
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Post by afterthebattle on Oct 27, 2010 16:51:46 GMT -5
Xander: I hate this guy. Willow: He's just doing what was done to him. Xander: I didn't give him syphilis! Giles: No, but you freed his spirit, and after a century of unrest he saw you as one of his oppressors. Xander: What, so he rises up and infects the first guy he sees? That's no fair. Willow: Like you've never woken up cranky.
... I love that episode!
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Post by iigreenii on Oct 27, 2010 17:26:25 GMT -5
SPIKE: Harm, what are you doing?
HARMONY: I'm writing Spike loves Harmony on your back.
SPIKE: Why?
HARMONY: I don't know, it's fun. I'm bored. You can write on me.
SPIKE: I've got to get back to work.
HARMONY: You love that tunnel more than me.
SPIKE: I love syphilis more than you.
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Post by Inappropriate Starches on Oct 27, 2010 19:14:36 GMT -5
XANDER: Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!
BUFFY: Check. No more butt-monkey.
RILEY: It coulda been worse. At least you weren't making time with the dracu-babes like Giles here.
GILES: I was not making time! I, I was, uh, just about to kill those, uh, loathsome creatures when Riley interrupted me.
RILEY: You were gonna nuzzle 'em to death?
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Post by usagianddarien on Oct 27, 2010 20:51:59 GMT -5
Giles: Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time!
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Post by Inappropriate Starches on Oct 27, 2010 23:58:08 GMT -5
Giles: The vampire is not dead?
Buffy: No, but my social life is on the critical list
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Post by orangejuicepony on Oct 28, 2010 2:45:49 GMT -5
BUFFY: Oh, give me a break! This is all wrong. See, first you would get the big guy, with a flying kick. Then you would take out all the little ones, bam, ba- see, now with the flying kick. From a dead stop! What's powering it, raw enthusiasm?
RILEY: Hey Buff, maybe you oughta leave the work behind sometimes. You're not always on slayer duty, you know?
BUFFY: It would drive you crazy if we were watching an army movie and they were all saluting backwards and ... invading all willy-nilly.
BUFFY: And anyway, I mean, you know, you can't blame me for being critical. Willow's the same way when we watch a, a movie about witches, right Xander?
XANDER: What? Oh yeah, she's all like, "What's that, a cauldron? Who uses a cauldron any more?"
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