Danner
Respected Watcher
Lezfaux
[Mo0:4]
Posts: 592
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Post by Danner on Nov 19, 2008 19:29:53 GMT -5
I write poems occasionally and have been meaning to share a few. Here's a very short one that I wrote recently: The Doormat
Body covered in tread marks from every angle, fraying at the edges, a mess of yarn and tangle. Lips parted in a whispered plea, “Please, God please, just let me be.”
Those greedy people come and go, sharing secrets, not bothering to show any sort of gratitude for the services provided. Nonetheless, the doormat hides what is confided.
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Joe
Wise-cracking Sidekick
Obsessive Paranoid Boob
"Gypsies are filthy people! We shall speak of zem no more!" *spits* -Ilona Costa Bianchi[Mo0:0]
Posts: 2,786
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Post by Joe on Nov 20, 2008 15:47:20 GMT -5
Very... original.. and something you would write.. lol I like doormats! I hope they don't think I disrespect them.
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Danner
Respected Watcher
Lezfaux
[Mo0:4]
Posts: 592
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Post by Danner on Nov 20, 2008 16:01:13 GMT -5
Very... original.. and something you would write.. lol I like doormats! I hope they don't think I disrespect them. LMAO. It's a metaphor, Joe.
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Joe
Wise-cracking Sidekick
Obsessive Paranoid Boob
"Gypsies are filthy people! We shall speak of zem no more!" *spits* -Ilona Costa Bianchi[Mo0:0]
Posts: 2,786
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Post by Joe on Nov 20, 2008 16:57:34 GMT -5
Very... original.. and something you would write.. lol I like doormats! I hope they don't think I disrespect them. LMAO. It's a metaphor, Joe. I don't get it :unsure:
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Danner
Respected Watcher
Lezfaux
[Mo0:4]
Posts: 592
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Post by Danner on Nov 20, 2008 19:03:43 GMT -5
LMAO. It's a metaphor, Joe. I don't get it -sigh-
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Iceeh★
Bad Ass Wicca
Also, Angels.
Somewhere, along in the bitterness.[Mo0:7]
Posts: 2,298
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Post by Iceeh★ on Nov 22, 2008 1:42:14 GMT -5
-sigh- It appears there is no hope for Joe. xD But Dannerluv, wonderful poem <3333333333333333333333333 I do so love your writing!
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Post by Skytteflickan88 on Nov 22, 2008 6:18:40 GMT -5
Weird, mysterious and fascinating.
A cute and a tiny bit depressing poem.
Well done.
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Joe
Wise-cracking Sidekick
Obsessive Paranoid Boob
"Gypsies are filthy people! We shall speak of zem no more!" *spits* -Ilona Costa Bianchi[Mo0:0]
Posts: 2,786
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Post by Joe on Nov 22, 2008 10:21:17 GMT -5
-sigh- It appears there is no hope for Joe. xD But Dannerluv, wonderful poem <3333333333333333333333333 I do so love your writing! No hope for Joe to do what?!
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Post by VampSlayer on Dec 21, 2008 18:46:09 GMT -5
Aw, Danner, it is so good!
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siredbyspike
Initiative Soldier
Love's Bint
[Mo0:13]
Posts: 387
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Post by siredbyspike on Apr 2, 2009 4:53:20 GMT -5
That's really good Danner! I feel like that alot sometimes, lol.
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Secret Scoobie
Wise-cracking Sidekick
Puts words in word places
Shiny![Mo0:32]
Posts: 2,702
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Post by Secret Scoobie on Apr 4, 2009 8:44:17 GMT -5
Danner this is a really cool poem! It's got a really nice...hm, flavour to it. Your choice of words and flow is really nice and the metaphor is clever and appropriate. You're not to wordy, and you have a good sense of space and structure.
I loved it!
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