The Muse
Common Vampire
[Mo0:0]
Posts: 79
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Post by The Muse on Jul 9, 2009 2:42:29 GMT -5
* Title: Free * Challenge: #2 Villain's POV * Fandom: Buffy * Pairing/Characters: Angelus, Angel/Buffy * Summary: Angel becomes Angelus. * Rating: PGish * Warnings: Mild sexual references * Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of it's characters. They belong to Joss Whedon. * Word Count: 100 I inhaled, plunging into the cold night air. I was finally free. Struggling, I pushed myself up. The rain-flecked concrete brought a crisp pain that made me smile. I thought of the girl, sleeping in blissful ignorance. She was naïve and delicate; icy and bold. Not so innocent anymore. The memories of the two of us flashed back and I bolted upright with new purpose. The next thing I knew, a hooker was dead. Oops. I exhaled a plume of smoke, planning. The girl still thought I was her boyfriend. Boy, was she going to be in for a surprise. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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meliafairy
Novice Witch
Le Bitch
[Mo0:13]
Posts: 257
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Post by meliafairy on Jul 9, 2009 4:36:48 GMT -5
The first 4 sentences are really good. Love the imagery created.
However you have really sugar-coated Angelus in my opinion. When Angelus thought about Buffy, he was filled with disgust and loathing. He would have never though about her as delicate but instead described her as a weak and pathetic human.
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Secret Scoobie
Wise-cracking Sidekick
Puts words in word places
Shiny![Mo0:32]
Posts: 2,702
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Post by Secret Scoobie on Jul 9, 2009 5:21:00 GMT -5
This drabble is really well written but I too think Angelus character is slightly lost in this piece.
For whatever reason this bit "The next thing I knew, a hooker was dead. " stuck out to me as not Angelus.. maybe it's just my own perception of him, but I felt he really savoured his kills and was completely conscious and exhilirated during them.
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Post by Skytteflickan88 on Jul 9, 2009 7:27:43 GMT -5
I really like this piece. And while I think a more digusted approach might have been good, I can really see Angelus thinking this, planning her destruction. I like how you wrote that his new purpose, supposebly destroying Buffy, made him bolt upright.
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zorthrip
Common Vampire
[Mo0:0]
Posts: 98
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Post by zorthrip on Jul 10, 2009 2:32:12 GMT -5
I liked this one, and like that moment of change in the character.
I personally, however, feel that Angelus would have much different feelings toward Buffy in that moment. I don't feel you fully captured his revulsion and hatred toward the girl that made him feel those putrid feelings of love and caring.
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