I'm scared

[Skytteflickan88]

I think I just met my first predator.

Girl (me) talks to man for 40 minutes in the university library. They talk and laugh, the man seems nice. He says he has some work to do before he leaves for his hostel(he’s just staying here for one night, he’s studying through the internet, mostly).

Girl decides to walk home. The man follows her, says hi, talks on his phone. He follows her to her home, a minute behind. Girl is talking on her phone with her mom, so she feels relatively safe, but she picks up her keys just in case.

She makes it home, but when she looks out the window, he’s still there. And when I started to write this, the door bell rang.

I’m terrified. I seriously doubt that his hostel is in this house, filled with student departments. It could be that he rented a room here(I rented a room in a student apartment building before), but he did lead the conversation into living, and he knows that I live alone in a one bed room apartment, and he knows my name, which means that he could read on the mail box on the bottom level where exactly I live.

I told my mom this when I was on the phone with her (before the bell rang), and she will call in a hour or two to make sure I’m safe.

A part of me is happy I’m alive, another part feels guilty that he might pray on someone else tonight.

One thing is certain, I’m glad that I trusted my instincts and stayed on the phone with my mom.

Now I'm going to hope that the people (sounds like girl/girls) outside my apartment is/are safe, while I try to not think about it.

EDIT-

No more ringing on the door. I don't dare to check out the window yet tough.

And what kind of idiot says Hello to the girl he's following? A part of me thinks I'm paranoid, but too much is suspiscious. He made sure I thought he was nice, slowed down in front of me when he thought he had gotten too far ahead, then rang the door bell, probably ready to invite himself in. And I, the vapid girl, who doesn't want to be rude, was suppose to let him in, and well, you can figure the rest out. It's a good plan. Man, I wish I had a gun.

Oh frak, I remember that I just told him that I start school at 8.15 tomorrow. He could be waiting outside. I think I should buy a pocket knife.

Man, I hate being scared. I bet the creep lives here in town, and will ring my door again.

[Jaz ♀♀]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's a horrible feeling knowing that someone can probably overpower you (like Buffy in "Helpless) and you have to run away or in your case, stay indoors. It's also very frustrating knowing that we have to fear for our safety instead of easily beating the crap out of them to protect ourselves if needed. It was very wise to trust your instinct on your suspicion instead of passing it off as paranoia.

What I recommend to anyone and you as well is to take self-defense classes....until then Skytte, I have a cool pocket knife you can borrow.

[Hellbound Hyperion]

Yeesh. Stay alert for the next week or two, and yeah, some *coughcoughVIOLENT* protection measures will be helpful as well. Stay safe!

[Eric]

Wow, that sounds scary. Don't hesitate to call the cops if this continues. Also, do you have a friend or family member who could walk with you to school? It could help.

[Skytteflickan88]

I have no friends or family here. I really need to make some friends.

But I called the police. No attack like this has been reported, so that's something(even tough the girl might just have shut up about it).

My mom has called several times, and my dad, and I talked about this on another forum, so I feel better now. More powerful that half an hour ago.

I'll eat something now and watch TV. I hope I forget this soon, but at the same time, I learned something.

The cop I talked to was nice, and I feel safer now (I was scared that they would act as if I was silly).

[buffyfan21]

Man, I am sorry you are dealing with this. I have been through a similar situation and it is never fun to feel scared and vulnerable like that. You are definitely right to trust your instincts, because even if the guy is just a weirdo creep, it is best to stay on the alert. Better safe than sorry! I agree with Eric, calling the cops might not be such a bad idea. Alert them that there is some weird guy hanging around, maybe they could look around the area and stay on the lookout fpr anything suspicious? You might want to think about implementing the Buddy System also. Do you have a friend or someone that could come stay with you? My advice, just makes sure you are not out anywhere alone if you can help it. Safety in numbers! Please continue to let us know how you're doing.

::EDIT::

Sorry to hear that you have no friends or family in town. But at least you talked to the cops and they actually took you seriously. Hopefully that helps you to feel a little better.

[The Girl In Question]

o.0 I hope everything works out for you! I'd punch that guy in the face if I could :/

[Skytteflickan88]

A big thanks to those that replied.

I've decided to pick up kickboxing and will start next week. Hopefully my student loan will be here any day now, so I can pay for classes.

[willowsummers]

Mace is cheap and easy to get. I have two- one for my keychain and one for my house. I don't think it is allowed everywhere though so you may not be able to use it.

If there is anyone at school you trust who could be outside or anyone who knows where you are supposed to be at a certain time, try to set that up so they can alert the cops if you aren't there.

I have to do this with my mother on a regular basis because I have to go to work early in the morning(before light) and, judging from my past, I seem to have victim stamped on my forehead.

It pisses me off so bad that we have to worry about this stuff.

[buffyfan21]

Jan 22, 2010 11:34:29 GMT -5 Skytteflickan88 said:

I've decided to pick up kickboxing and will start next week. Hopefully my student loan will be here any day now, so I can pay for classes.

Oh, that should be fun. Good for you.

[lucifurl]

Kick butt! Skytteflickan88 but only when you need to.

[Skytteflickan88]

We're not allowd to have mace or pocket knives in Sweden, but we can spray a red color-spray, so I'm buying that. And a flash/alarm in case I get attacked.

I think I need the kick boxing too. I thought about joining a gun club so I could get a gun (not sure if I'm alowed to carry that anywhere tough), but I decided that was overreacting.

But I do want to learn how to shoot.

[Hellbound Hyperion]

Kickboxing is awesome, a good workout and an excellent skill to have.

[Talkie Toaster]

Jan 22, 2010 14:51:53 GMT -5 Skytteflickan88 said:

We're not allowd to have mace or pocket knives in Sweden,

then carry around a small can of hairspray/deodorant it isn't as effective as mace but will do the job in a pinch

[drusillacakes]

Oh man, I'm sorry that happened to you Sky. I hope this guy isn't still following you around. Firstly, it's not normal to follow someone and then ring their doorbell, even if you just had a pleasant conversation. That's just majorly oddball. I second lurchi's hairspray suggestion too, although when you're panicked, it's difficult to fumble in your bag for your hairspray. If you see this guy again and he tries anything, yell "fire." It's supposed to get help quicker. Also, I used to take Tae Kwon Do, and my teacher always said, the best way to escape an attacker, if you're face to face with them is to kick them really really really really really hard in the knee cap. It will cause their knees to buckle and immobilize them long enough for you to run.

[Hallow Thorn]

Poor thing .. Yeah, I'm with you all on kick boxing tho.

[Skytteflickan88]

Good idea about the deoderant. I'm ordering a red sticky spray thing, that's legal and used for selfdefense, but the deoderant thing sounds good too. I have a jacket with big pockets right now, so I could carry one. That or parfume. No one want that in the eyes.

The first kick boxing lecture is this tuesday, so I'll go and test it. I hope I don't give up, like I do with most sports.

[Billie Erin]

You should get one of those pocket alarm things
And don't worry if you stop posting then we'll all be calling the police on your behalf

Edit: Also don't be misled by him being nice to you. I have a Saturday job at a greengrocers and a man who took £20 from us distracted me by being all chatty about the weather etc. He seemed really nice but he most definitely wasn't

You did the right thing with your phone, don't feel guilty, all you can do is protect yourself. Maybe report him to the police if you see him again?

[buffyfan21]

Jan 23, 2010 6:01:14 GMT -5 Skytteflickan88 said:

The first kick boxing lecture is this tuesday, so I'll go and test it. I hope I don't give up, like I do with most sports.

Don't give up. I bet you will do fine. It will be fun learning something new, and a great way to empower yourself. Think of it like Buffy in her training sessions with Giles.

[Faith5byFive]

I hope your okay Sky , I'd be extra cautious for a week or so and if you see him again call the police straight away , i wouldn't suggest carrying knifes or anything like that because then if you get caught carrying on you will be the one to get into trouble just stay aware and alert and i hope he doesn't return