Billie's poetry

[Billie Erin]

Ok so I think I'm posting this in the right place, I write a lot of poetry and many of these are written from the perspective of Buffy characters. This is really the first time I've shared any of them so please go easy on me

1) Ok this was written from Harmony's perspective in season 5 when she decides to leave Spike

"Every time I see him,
I add another brick
To the growing tower,
That’s making me sick.
Sucking my energy,
Leaving me dry,
As my tower creeps,
Towards the sky.
“A tower of my love”?
Maybe, or maybe not?
But Spike's love’s one thing,
That I haven’t got.
I decide to move on,
Take one brick at a time,
Slowly it’s decreasing,
And slowly, down I climb.

But reluctance fills my every move,
And I gather back the bricks,
I build them up, and take them back,
There’s no pattern that sticks.
I need to let go of him,
I really have no choice,
I’m letting this boy smother me,
I’m losing my own voice.
If only I had the courage,
To climb all the way down,
And pull out the bottom one-
To bring him crashing to the ground."

2) Inspired by the scene where young Buffy's in her L.A. home crying and Angel's watching her through the window.

"One day I know I’ll have somebody,
Somebody to care,
One day I’ll sob like this, but there’ll be you,
And you’ll be there.
I think you’re looking back at me,
From the world I can’t reach yet,
Not staring at the girl you know,
But at a her you never met.
One day there’ll be a you, to lift me up,
When I am down,
One day there’ll be a you, to keep my feet,
Above the ground,
One day there’ll be a you,
And one day there’ll be a me,
But what if that’s not good enough?
I need more than a dream.

The pain is real,
The heartache too,
The wound of old,
And salt of new.
I’ll be honest:
No lies,
I’ll say it true,
I don’t know how to get through this,
Without you."

3) This one is from Willow's perspective in season 1

"Xzander smiles at me,
Out of sheer etiquette,
But I smile back,
Not having given up yet.
My smile’s the preacher,
In the confession box,
It hides my secrets,
Behind lips and locks.
And it knows what I’m thinking,
So it knows I should tell,
Yet it keeps very quiet,
Though I beg it to yell,
Oh mouth if you hear me,
Drop your pretence!
Go and tell him my feelings,
Or we’ll lose him again.
But with my lips glued together,
No sound will come out,
So he leaves me behind,
And only then can I shout.
I’m a prisoner behind,
My own closed mouth,

Who knows if I’ll ever,
Be let out."

4) I asked myself what must've been going through Buffy's mind just before she decided to go find the Master in "Prophecy Girl" and this was the best I could do. I was particularly interested in the psychology here because I think that one line "I'm 16 years old, I don't want to die" is one of the most powerful lines in the history of TV, and being 16 myself it really speaks to me

"What if my world was flipped upside down;
Feet on the ceiling, head on the ground?
A world where the rivers run up the hill,
Where the night is bright and the day is still?

Where good is bad,
And right is wrong,
Where fierce lions sing,
The Nightingale’s song,
Where my memories recall, future events,
And the past is lost, in the present tense?
And in the confusion,
I lost my mind,
I wonder if I ever had one,
"Is there anything to find?"

If I could block out the world,
And gather myself.
If I could hear the silence,
Like there’s nothing else,
Then I’d find the key,
Maybe find the door,
And be finally free,
To live once more,
What if your world was flipped upside down,
Would you unlock the door,
And find a way out?
Or would you cower in the shadows,
Until there’s nothing left?
Are you a hero,
Or just one of the rest?"

Anyways I hope that you like them and that I haven't bored you. There are actually more . . .

[willowsummers]

Those are good. I particularly like how much you felt for the scenes and the characters. My favorite was the last one from Prophecy Girl. I write poetry every now and then because it seems like a way to express something I can't normally express, but they're terrible. hehe I can't begin to satisfy myself.

[Billie Erin]

Feb 18, 2010 1:23:14 GMT -5 willowsummers said:

Those are good. I particularly like how much you felt for the scenes and the characters. My favorite was the last one from Prophecy Girl. I write poetry every now and then because it seems like a way to express something I can't normally express, but they're terrible. hehe I can't begin to satisfy myself.

Thanks, it's really nice to know that soembody else likes them

You should try posting yours sometime, they're probably really good- everybody's their own worst critic

And you're right- for me poetry's primarily a creative and emotional outlet to help express the emotions I can't otherwise articulate

[Billie Erin]

Ok I have a couple of others I'd like to share:

Rain

SPOILER: Click to show

I’m saving my tears,
For a rainy day,
Waiting for façades,
To wash away,
To watch my troubles,
Flowing down the drain,
The river floods,
With our pain,
And the gutter’s full,
Of broken dreams,
The world’s not as happy,
As it seems.

The umbrellas are up,
The eyes are down,
The washing’s in,
And the clouds are out,
The dirty cars,
Are now gleaming white,
But the sky is dark:
As black as night;
And the thunder rolls,
And the lightning strikes,
The blue sky overthrown,
Without a fight,
And the tears are hot,
On my numbing face,
As they burn my cheeks,
On the path they take,
The raindrops are cold,
As they too take chase,
There’s sweet disharmony,
In an unwinnable race.
The raindrop falls,
The tear slips,
And they proceed to die,
Beneath my lips.

The Stream

SPOILER: Click to show

There’s a stream,
Before my eyes,
They say that the one who crosses it,
Will be forever wise.

They’ll know the truth,
Of everything,
They’ll be loved by all,
And be rich as a king.

We stand on the bank,
That borders our town,
The people jump in,
Seconds pass,
And they drown.

The men and the women,
They swim, but don’t think,
Fighting its currents,
Until they sink.

Feeling pity for them,
In their haste and their greed,
I turn on my heel,
And gather up speed.

Turn away from its sparkle,
And with wisdom I go,
Because the truth is one thing,
That I’d rather not know.

Your Fault

SPOILER: Click to show

You’re busy;
Too busy to spare me some time.
If you were here,
I might not,
But you aren’t so I will.
And I’m sorry;
Sorry that you didn’t know,
How much pain you caused when you decided to go,
Not for long,
But long enough,
And I’m sorry,
That this was your last chance,
But I can’t carry on,
And I’m sorry,
That my finger’s on the trigger,
And I’m sorry,
That I loaded,
That I was lonely,
And I’m sorry,
You didn’t have a clue,
That when I said “I’m fine”,
It wasn’t true.
And I’m sorry,
That I didn’t tell you,
What I’d do,
If you weren’t there,
Because you were my friend,
You’ll be sorry too.
So goodbye,
I’ll miss you,
I miss you,
I was missing you,
And calling you,
But you didn’t come,
Now I’m going, going,
Gone.

New Girl

SPOILER: Click to show

There’s a new girl in my village,
Whose voice is like a bell,
Her eyes are untouched ice,
And her smile is a spell.

The boys say she’s enchanting,
And it’s easy to see why,
She’s so much like an angel,
That when she walks she seems to fly.

But one day we woke up,
To the darkness of the night,
And all our hearts were broken,
By the absence of the light.

The sun said it refused,
To shine anymore,
It wouldn’t offer light,
Which we no longer saw.
Because we no longer looked up,
We took no notice of the skies,
Everyone watched the new girl-
A thousand pairs of eyes.

The next day we woke up,
To a barren land,
Our lush green soils,
Had turned to sand.

We asked the Earth,
What was wrong,
And it replied,
With a similar song,
It said we had no use,
For greenery or trees,
Why should it provide a forest,
That nobody even sees?
All faces turned to the new girl,
Each one bearing the same frown,
As we watched her standing alone,
On the border of our town.

The poor girl’s blue eyes sparkled,
As the ice began to melt,
And out came a single teardrop,
But no one offered help.



She turned slowly on her heel,
And began to walk away,
We watched, but no one followed,
On that dark, unpleasant day.

The next morning when we awoke,
The sunshine filtered through the trees,
Their green hue upon our streets,
Painted worlds with their envy.
And the girl was never mentioned,
And in time we all moved on,
Though inside we always thank her,
For having the strength to have gone.

But there’s still a girl with a bell-like voice,
And eyes perfect like ice,
That have been melted and re-frozen,
More than once or twice.
She’s wandering so lonely,
Her lovely face, it chills,
With a beautiful empty heart,
That no one ever fills.

She’s always either top or bottom,
We raise her up and watch her fall,
And now her name’s forgotten,
Like she didn’t exist at all.

Flying

SPOILER: Click to show

It’s all I ever wanted,
And it’s all I’m asking for,
But why to reach the shining step,
Must I close all other doors?
I know well what I want,
And it’s not to say goodbye,
But it’s crowded, there’s no room for wings,
I have to leave, to fly.
I’m opening the last door,
And closing it behind,
I’m crossing all the Ts,
And I’m dotting all my Is.
Leaving you a picture,
Of my slow, dissolving back,
I know that you will worry,
But I’m not the one who’s trapped.
I can’t stay just for you,
So you’ll have to watch me go,
And if you stare out of your window,
You’ll see me soar, I know.

Loneliness

SPOILER: Click to show

I sit in my room,
The window taunts the hunger of loneliness,
That echoes across the expanse of my mind,
Unable to satisfy itself with dreams,
It watches the world below.
I see children on swings,
Their laughter pierces my barrier,
A foreign sound, lost to my memory
Over the years.
I watch them and try to care for them,
Try to share in their happiness,
Greedily lapping up the scraps of smiles which they discard,
I sit alone. I watch in silence.
My heart continues to beat.
My mind continues to think.
But my heart has lost its song, its rhythm,
And my thoughts have lost their impact, their meaning,
They are not real, they are not sufficient to satisfy my hunger,
Anymore.
Together, we are alone, my heart, my mind and me,
Parts of a whole, nothing without one another.
If there is nobody but them to bare witness to my existence,
Then what when we die?
And my memory is dust,
Carried in the wind,
With so much more dust,
That nobody remembers. The people of loneliness. Lost in time.

Whispers

SPOILER: Click to show

I hold the child I have borne,
So new to life itself. She sleeps.
In the room of life, and of death,
I cradle her and whisper:

“I promise you fountains of youth”
(But iridescent and fluid,
I know they cannot be trusted.)
“I promise to frame your dreams”
(So that they cannot fly away,
Like my own forgotten ones did.)
“I promise you rooms filled with dark”
(So you may never have to look,
Upon the truth which shatters souls).
“I promise you a lake of dew”
(So you may bathe in purity-
In the night’s discarded tears).
“I promise I’ll love you always”
(I shed a tear with these words-
The only of my promises
That I can keep.)
“They’re going to take me away,
They think there’s madness in my mind,
But I swear that I will return,
And I will pull my promises,
Into reality for you.”

Two clinical pairs of eyes stare,
Together, they’re too quick to judge.
I know my time to say goodbye-
Those precious grains of sand- have fled.

One clinical pair of eyes asks:
“Is there something wrong in her head?”
The other widens and replies:
“She whispers to the dead”.

[slayerthorn]

These are good. I like 1 and 3 the best from the original post and also New Girl.

[midwesternwatcher]

Is there a link where I could download these? I'm collecting good Buffy poetry.

[Billie Erin]

Sorry this is the only place online where I've published any of them, feel free to copy and paste them if that's ofany use . . . I'm not very good with computers

And thanks Thorn!