bonoferox
Potential Slayer
Never trust a psychic with a doorbell[Mo0:0]
Posts: 106
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Post by bonoferox on Oct 6, 2010 19:33:57 GMT -5
So there's a girl I work with that I've been dating the past few weeks. I used to work on a different floor from her, but saw her off and on and thought she was really cute, just had no idea who she was or how to talk to her.
Well, I moved down to her floor a couple of weeks ago when I started a new position at work and invited her to go to an Irish Fest in town with a couple of friends. My friends couldn't make it, so it just turned out to be us. That part kind of worked out since we got to know eachother and I found out we shared a ton in common including her being a Whedon fan.
We went out for the first time the next week by having dinner then a couple of movies at my place, ending with a pretty awesome goodnight kiss.
Then last weekend we went to a Renaissance Festival together (no mocking), then had lunch and dinner together, followed by a couple more movies at my place. The day consisted of us holding hands, cuddling and kissing (a lot) at the end of the night. With this weekend being our third real date (aside from a few lunch days at work), is it too early to ask if she wants to be an exclusive couple? I'm pretty sure all the positive signs are there and I can definitely see us working out in the end, but I've been burned in the past by some mixed signals.
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AngelFaith
Descendant of a Toaster Oven
I rolled the bones. You for me.
My forgottendreamer[Mo0:12]
Posts: 641
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Post by AngelFaith on Oct 7, 2010 2:02:58 GMT -5
I would say it's a little too early to be asking her to be exclusive. I think you should just let things unfold naturally instead of asking straight out if she wants to be in a relationship with you.
I know it's frustrating sometimes to not have anything solid or set, but I do think you'd be jumping the gun if you brought this kind of conversation up so early. Just have fun for now, make sure you are really sure of where she is.
Is this helpful at all? I feel like I'm rambling a little.
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The Night Lord
Wise-cracking Sidekick
The Long Kiss Goodnight
There can be no love. Only pain exists[Mo0:1]
Posts: 2,654
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Post by The Night Lord on Oct 7, 2010 7:50:40 GMT -5
Um...er...what she said...take your time, dude and really get to know each other really well. Isn't there something that says third date = third base or is that just me? Anyhow, I realise as I'm saying this that I'm not a chick, but hey, a guy can help a buddy out with girl issues
What's being 'exclusive' mean? That's the first I've ever really heard of it...............
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Scarygothgirl
Ensouled Vampire
'What are you doing here? This is a naked place!'
~The Truth Will Free My Soul~[Mo0:32]
Posts: 1,230
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Post by Scarygothgirl on Oct 7, 2010 9:14:45 GMT -5
I think third date is a good time to discuss where the relationship is. Maybe not asking outright if you want to be exclusive (girls have a way of taking anything the wrong way, and I can think of a million ways a girl could take offence to that so you have to be careful with wording). Maybe you could say something like 'I've noticed this is our third date, does that make you my girlfriend?' 'cos then if she laughs you can pretend it was just a joke, or hopefully she'll agree. Does that help at all?
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Post by whitecandy on Oct 7, 2010 13:19:22 GMT -5
I think you should let things develop naturally and see where it goes. I know that can be frustrating though, as there are so many things you want to know, but it may be the best option at least for a couple more dates. Make sure though that she knows how into her you are and how you are not interested in seeing anyone else. The fact that she has been on several outings with you and seems to like being close to you is a good sign. I hope it works out and keep us all updated on how it goes  |
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jellymoff
Ensouled Vampire
Claimer of Funn[Mo0:0]
Posts: 1,174
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Post by jellymoff on Oct 7, 2010 16:09:39 GMT -5
Labels are not super important off the bat, just continue to spend quality time. It took months before my last girlfriend officially became my girlfriend. She's been my wife now for 7 years...
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AngelFaith
Descendant of a Toaster Oven
I rolled the bones. You for me.
My forgottendreamer[Mo0:12]
Posts: 641
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Post by AngelFaith on Oct 7, 2010 20:10:29 GMT -5
Isn't there something that says third date = third base or is that just me? I always thought third date = sex. Never tested this saying, mind you, but I thought that was the general rule. |
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Darth Rosie
Ensouled Vampire
I do doodle
Keeper of Didacity [? Astray][Mo0:12]
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Post by Darth Rosie on Oct 8, 2010 3:10:54 GMT -5
Isn't there something that says third date = third base or is that just me? I always thought third date = sex. Never tested this saying, mind you, but I thought that was the general rule. my life experience: first date = sex. as a friend of mine said: this world is too fast for slow romances ;D |
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Scarygothgirl
Ensouled Vampire
'What are you doing here? This is a naked place!'
~The Truth Will Free My Soul~[Mo0:32]
Posts: 1,230
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Post by Scarygothgirl on Oct 8, 2010 10:55:29 GMT -5
I think everyone has different rules for what different date numbers mean. Except for some weird reason everyone has that the third date is something special, whatever that happens to be. Why does no-one pick like the fifth date or something? (Or 17th or whatever it was in HIMYM...)
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Post by whitecandy on Oct 8, 2010 10:58:44 GMT -5
Depends on who you are on a date with I guess. Some people stuff just happens, some people it takes longer. I generally have never had a 'rule' as such, when it happens, it happens, although mainly it has happened quickly.... The person I dated the longest before sleeping with was actually my boyfriend, although that was mainly his choice, but he turned out to be the love of my life so maybe there is something in that...
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Billie Erin
Ensouled Vampire
"I go back to December"
"I picked up a hitchhiker. You've got to when you hit them."[Mo0:0]
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Post by Billie Erin on Oct 8, 2010 12:38:16 GMT -5
I think 3rd date is definitely far enough in to ask to be an exclusive couple- she certainly seems really into you.
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Hellbound Hyperion
Bad Ass Wicca
$20 per soul, no refunds[/B]
Dude, you just rescued a puppy![Mo0:18]
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Post by Hellbound Hyperion on Oct 8, 2010 14:03:11 GMT -5
Isn't there something that says third date = third base or is that just me? I always thought third date = sex. Never tested this saying, mind you, but I thought that was the general rule. There is a pop culture reference at work here. Two or less dates = slut, four or more dates = prude. Couldn't tell you where it's from though, I just remember the reference. There aren't any real hard rules for dating, in my experience. Don't let movies and television indoctrinate you with silly, awkward notions about relationships.  |
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bonoferox
Potential Slayer
Never trust a psychic with a doorbell[Mo0:0]
Posts: 106
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Post by bonoferox on Oct 8, 2010 21:13:55 GMT -5
Thanks everyone You've all definitely helped. And I hope you're right, Billie. I'm wondering how I went this long without knowing her and really think it has potential to lead to something great. I'll let you know after the weekend |
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Shane
Potential Slayer
I saw a baby today.[Mo0:0]
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Post by Shane on Oct 8, 2010 21:31:30 GMT -5
OP - Set this thread as her homepage and ask her what she thinks.  With the way you've described your dating, I won't be surprised if she's making a similar thread elsewhere on the interwebs...  On a more serious note, I think it depends on her personality more than anything else. How well do you know her? Do you know any of her friends? Anything about her previous relationships? Those things can be quite crucial at this stage... Anyway, good luck! I hope it works out for you. You guys seem to be quite the couple.  |
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bonoferox
Potential Slayer
Never trust a psychic with a doorbell[Mo0:0]
Posts: 106
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Post by bonoferox on Oct 9, 2010 7:23:35 GMT -5
Well, it turned out she used to date the labmate of my best friend, which I had no idea about until after I met her (small world). I guess they were together for a few years until this past spring when things just didnt work out. My friend said that it was actually his labmate's fault in the end and not hers.
Aside from that, I know her friends at work and have met her parents just due to circumstance. They both seemed to like me, which is good.
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bonoferox
Potential Slayer
Never trust a psychic with a doorbell[Mo0:0]
Posts: 106
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Post by bonoferox on Oct 10, 2010 0:37:16 GMT -5
I now have a girlfriend |
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Post by wenxina on Oct 10, 2010 0:49:16 GMT -5
Well, yippee skippy! Okay, that totally sounded like kangaroo porn, or something like that... but yay! |
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Post by whitecandy on Oct 10, 2010 5:20:05 GMT -5
I now have a girlfriend Yay, congratulations! Hope you are both very happy but I guess this is the end of our slayalive ship *sigh* |
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The Night Lord
Wise-cracking Sidekick
The Long Kiss Goodnight
There can be no love. Only pain exists[Mo0:1]
Posts: 2,654
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Post by The Night Lord on Oct 10, 2010 7:07:21 GMT -5
Congratulations, bono. Hope it works out well
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Hellbound Hyperion
Bad Ass Wicca
$20 per soul, no refunds[/B]
Dude, you just rescued a puppy![Mo0:18]
Posts: 2,268
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Post by Hellbound Hyperion on Oct 10, 2010 17:15:26 GMT -5
I officially declare this thread GA-REAT SACK-SESS!!
*pops champagne cork*
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