Her Faith [none Btvs story, sort story]

[Lukee]

[ Her Faith ]
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Fear was rising up inside her; it was like a dam had caved in filling the village with its water. Killing them. She found it hard to breath, her heart beating faster then its regular clock work beat. Hands filling with sweat as she held onto the brass door knob with her life. Her body leaning as her arms straightened, her feet pressed against the floor, the tip of her dirty red converse pressing against the bottom of the wooden door frame of the night black closet. Dawn Gilmore closed her eyes with such tightness she thought they would revert back into her head. She didn’t want to die, who ever does? It wasn’t her time she told her self, god wouldn’t let her. Dawn believed this, although she was starting to forget that belief as fear of death filled her body from head to toe, heart and soul.

The door stuttered as force was pulling it from the other side of the dark wood frame. She still held on, her hands turning numb with the pain of the force. She tried so desperately to hold on. She remembered doing just that in a small boutique in the mist of New York, she grabbed hold of the little black number as another woman did the same, they pulled at each other for a while but she didn’t let go. She held on like it was her life. Looking back now, she wanted to just hit her self for being so plastic. She never knew what life was until now, how easy it is to lose it. For this she is grateful; however she would be more grateful if she could survive this and begin to live her life knowing how fragile it is. Like a Dali painting in sunlight she could feel her life fading away, slipping from her grasp.

"Please stop, make it stop" She cried to herself and to god as tears squeezed from her tightly shut eyes leaving a black line of mascara trailing down her cheeks. Her body filled with pain, filled with regret. Dawn knew if she let go she would be letting go of her life, it would be like dropping your Vivian Westwood bag in the Grand Canyon. Everything would move so slowly, all you could do was just watch as it falls. Then later you wonder if you could have moved faster to grab the bag before it fell only she knew she would not get to think this if death grabs her.

Her hands filled with sweat, dripping from her grip, she could feel her self losing her handle on the door knob. The door still persistent in trying to open, it was like it wanted death its self to get her. She felt everything was against her, her dark blue knee high skirt stopped her from running to her full extent, her over sized knitted jumped made her burn up with heat as she ran tiring her out even more. Still she knew god wouldn’t let this be her day. He had bigger and better plans for her. Dawn just knew it.
Hope right now was all she had left.

Her hands gave way, as they slipped from the handle she felt a sort of relief as her hands throbbing felt less. This was the moment everything moved in slow motion. All she could hear was her heart beat, beating like a woodpecker at a tree. Her arms slung in the air as her eyes widened, her mouth scream the words "please no" as her body lifted from the ground for a moment as her whole body fell back into the air her legs lifted from the ground until her back met with the closets back wall. With a thump she hit it, her head jilting forward as the echo of the bang filled her ears mixing with the sound of her heart beat. Everything played in slow motion still as her head hung low, her eyes weak, she was so tired. Her body throbbing in pain, her tears barely dry as more fell. Soon the dark filled closet was quite. Dawn let the tears fall as she lifted her head up. Her back pressed against the wall, her legs half bent as her feet where placed firmly on the ground, her arms laid lifeless next to her.

The dark wooden door opened not slowly but at a steady pace but to Dawn it was the slowest moment in her life, and she couldn’t move fast enough to stop it. She was letting the bag fall.
Her eyes widened her mouth fell open yet again as the light from the opening door flooded the closet. The dam was gone. She still believe god was their watching her, that he was about to step in at any moment, this wasn’t her time.

She thought that her last thoughts before she died would be something profound, maybe finding the meaning to life, or the cure to cancer. All she got was the endless pain of the knife digging into her body and the feel of betrayal. She believed, so hard she believed but in the end god never saved her. He never handed down his hand from the sky guiding her out of the pain and terror. Instead he sat back watching, leaving Dawn Gilmore to fade to black, she was the hand bag falling until she was gone.