You're so gay.

[wenxina]

The point is that it's not being used to address gay people as much as it is being used to note that something is stupid/uncool/moronic/etc. The fact is that it's uber-annoying, regardless of context.
And really... when was the last time you actually heard someone use "gay" to mean "happy" or "bright" anyway?
And hey, "gay issues" have been around a lot longer than you think... it's not a fad that's suddenly popped up. People are people, and should be treated with respect, but apparently, enough people feel otherwise *nods at the existence of Prop 8 and all its analogues*.
Maybe now, global warming will stop, eh?

[worldofshrimps]

Okay, so I'm gay and I don't find this offensive.
However, excessive use of it is just wayyyyyyyyy annoying. For instance, my sister uses the phrase in almost EVERY sentence. It's freakin' ridiculous. I also find the fact that its used as an insult quite aggravating. I mean we can find so many different words for something and we probably speak the most advamced language in the world and we can't find a better word to describe something than "gay"? As I said people can say it in school and around me, heck, I even say it, and it doesn't bother me. But when people use it too much it just becomes annoying and portrays you as moronic and stupid (see what I did there? ) and very unintelligent that you can't increase your vocabulary further.

Yeah, okay, my mini-rant is over haha

[ambersknight]

It seems strange to me that people will use the term "gay" (which is now synonymous with homosexuals) to mean something bad. I mean, we would enver describe something as bad by saying "That's so negro".

So for those people who use the word "gay" in this derogratory sense, ask yourself if you would use that phrase above and if you wouldn't, then don't use gay.

Personally, I now associate the word gay with homosexual, and as a positive word (given that many gay people had to suffer words like queer or fag or pervert I feel its only right that they had a positive word to be associated with) and as such I would never use it to describe something negative.

Its a complex issue, but for me it is changing something positive into something negative, which is never a good sign.

[jellymoff]

Here's what I think regarding all slurs: If it hurts someone, don't say it. So if "that's so gay" offends some gay people, don't say it, just to be safe. I think in these cases we have to respect the person that it impacts. It doesn't hurt anyone NOT to use that phrase, so why use it?

[Just Willow]

it bugs me when people say 'that's so gay.' usually when they do, i say 'don't you mean stupid? and they go 'no, i mean gay' and then i say 'i wasn't aware that a *insert whatever they are commenting on* could be homosexual.' adn then they just stare at me before walking away embarassed.

[Harmony]

i don't mind when people say "that's so gay" or "its so gay" it doesn't really bother me

[Mathieu]

I think I even enjoy hearing people say "this is so gay". There's something highly enjoyable about it. Couldn't explain why tho.

[iamthewalrus]

it's not enjoyable when your 7 year old nephew is saying it

anyway, i find it annoying and pretty stupid
i don't find it offensive (unless i'm in a super bad mood), because it's not intentionally aimed to offend me or anyone else

[Paul]

Nov 2, 2008 2:13:56 GMT -5 Yam Sham said:

Getting offended by words alone seems a bit pointless.

I always take the context of the word's usage into account before I decide to get offended.

This is the same stance I take. There's no reason to be offended unless someone means it in a genuinely homophobic or abusive way.

Using "gay" as a negative adjective is a little insulting, it's true. But honestly, it's so juvenile that I actually find it quite funny. For example, the characters in South Park use it as an insult sometimes and that show isn't homophobic in the slightest.

[Mathieu]

Maybe I enjoy hearing it because of South Park. Every line on South Park cracks me up. This show is so enjoyably gay. (I'm re-reversing the meaning of gay here)

[iamthewalrus]

well South Park can get away with anything cos i love it
so can Family Guy

[Mathieu]

Jun 4, 2009 18:30:06 GMT -5 @iamthewalrus said:

well South Park can get away with anything cos i love it
so can Family Guy

South Park is the 4th best thing that I ever got to watch after Buffy, Angel and The Office (US).

And it's exciting because I haven't caught up on all of the episodes yet.

[Lukee]

I don't think its a bad way to use the word gay at all. Gay has meant many things before and now it means bad so what? No biggie. Did people get crabby when the word first meant Happy??? No. Words change thats life people just need to get over it. Unless some is using it as an insult to some one why give a crap? I think people crying over it are just doing it to make more issues out of being gay. They just need to grow a pair

[Mathieu]

Jun 4, 2009 20:09:32 GMT -5 Lukee said:

I don't think its a bad way to use the word gay at all. Gay has meant many things before and now it means bad so what? No biggie. Did people get crabby when the word first meant Happy??? No. Words change thats life people just need to get over it. Unless some is using it as an insult to some one why give a crap? I think people crying over it are just doing it to make more issues out of being gay. They just need to grow a pair

Agreed.

[trunkstheslayer]

Jun 4, 2009 22:07:36 GMT -5 Mathieu said:

Jun 4, 2009 20:09:32 GMT -5 Lukee said:

I don't think its a bad way to use the word gay at all. Gay has meant many things before and now it means bad so what? No biggie. Did people get crabby when the word first meant Happy??? No. Words change thats life people just need to get over it. Unless some is using it as an insult to some one why give a crap? I think people crying over it are just doing it to make more issues out of being gay. They just need to grow a pair

Agreed.

Many things? Two, actually. Happy, and then for the gay community.
As for why it's a big deal: Connotations. It came into this 'new' meaning solely as an attack on a group of people. It's devolved somewhat but having an entire community of people sharing a word meaning 'stupid' or 'worthless' doesn't do wonders for their self-esteem.
Saying 'grow a pair' is beyond the childish reaction. So kids who are picked on should just grow a pair and deal, right? Words have weight. Just because we like to pretend they don't, doesn't change reality. Should the people upset by Don Imus's racist remarks have just 'grown a pair'?
If not, then explain the double standard.

Addition: Is it me, or does the "Grow a thicker skin" concept border dangerously close on "blaming the victim"? Essentially it's saying "It's your fault you're offended, not that of the offender".
Yes, context is key and most people don't register it as an attack on the gay community. HOWEVER, and Rebecca says this beautifully in the post below this one, it's an under the surface attack. It perpetuates the belief that 'gay' is synonymous with 'worthless' or 'lesser'. The connection to actual gay people gets drawn unconsciously and becomes second nature. "Well if gay things are stupid, it must apply to gay people as well".

[Rebecca]

Nov 6, 2008 18:25:36 GMT -5 wenxina said:

The point is that it's not being used to address gay people as much as it is being used to note that something is stupid/uncool/moronic/etc. And really... when was the last time you actually heard someone use "gay" to mean "happy" or "bright" anyway?

This is the stance I take. I'm not gay, and I used to say "That's so gay" all the time, and not in a good way. It was always to describe something as not cool.

Even though I didn't mean it in passing as "I am making a point that I believe homosexuals are not fit in society," using and accepting that phrase was sending a subliminal message that anything that is gay is therefore uncool, which within the mind over time can be transformed to abnormal, bad, and disgusting. I have come to realize that by using language in that manner, I was propogating anti-homosexual schemas to everyone around me, including myself. It's quite easy to make the connection, and once I did, I stopped myself from saying this colloquial term (of which I pick up and use like sponge to water), and do try to get people around me to not use it as well.

[Mathieu]

Jun 5, 2009 12:14:58 GMT -5 trunkstheslayer said:

Jun 4, 2009 22:07:36 GMT -5 Mathieu said:

Agreed.

Many things? Two, actually. Happy, and then for the gay community.
As for why it's a big deal: Connotations. It came into this 'new' meaning solely as an attack on a group of people. It's devolved somewhat but having an entire community of people sharing a word meaning 'stupid' or 'worthless' doesn't do wonders for their self-esteem.
Saying 'grow a pair' is beyond the childish reaction. So kids who are picked on should just grow a pair and deal, right? Words have weight. Just because we like to pretend they don't, doesn't change reality. Should the people upset by Don Imus's racist remarks have just 'grown a pair'?
If not, then explain the double standard.

Addition: Is it me, or does the "Grow a thicker skin" concept border dangerously close on "blaming the victim"? Essentially it's saying "It's your fault you're offended, not that of the offender".
Yes, context is key and most people don't register it as an attack on the gay community. HOWEVER, and Rebecca says this beautifully in the post below this one, it's an under the surface attack. It perpetuates the belief that 'gay' is synonymous with 'worthless' or 'lesser'. The connection to actual gay people gets drawn unconsciously and becomes second nature. "Well if gay things are stupid, it must apply to gay people as well".

Anybody who has ever suffered from being picked on, insulted or mocked for what they are/were (typically back in high school for example) will understand that there is no point getting upset over the use of the word "gay" in common speech. People who have been through hard times should be over this kind of thing. It can hurt a lot to be called "fat" or "fag" for example, but who cares about somebody who will call "gay" something they don't like. There are more painfu/offensive things than this.

People overthink it.

[iamthewalrus]

it's not about people getting upset, it's about the message it conveys
like i've mentioned, my nephew has started saying "that's so gay"
he now thinks being gay isn't a good thing
he actually uses "gay" as an insult to people, and tries to annoy them (like any little kid loves to do) by calling them gay

[Mathieu]

Jun 5, 2009 13:19:23 GMT -5 @iamthewalrus said:

it's not about people getting upset, it's about the message it conveys
like i've mentioned, my nephew has started saying "that's so gay"
he now thinks being gay isn't a good thing
he actually uses "gay" as an insult to people, and tries to annoy them (like any little kid loves to do) by calling them gay

You're making a good point here. From that perspective it can be preoccupying because at some point he is going to call "gay" some kids that are actually gay and they might get hurt, and they will probably end up having to hide their real sexuality until they've grown independent enough to stand for who they really are.

Tell your nephew it's ok to say a book, a movie, a tv show or an idea is gay but it's a bad thing to call people gay... because people have feelings.

I'm sorry if I sound like i'm not being understanding or something, but i say the word gay all the time, stuff like "ahah this is so gay" as in "this sucks" but almost in a good way. Hard to explain. Like ahah this sucks but no biggie, ahaha it's funny. Kinda.

[Lukee]

I just simply disagree. Why should people get upset over using the word gay like this but no one got pissy over the word Sick or Wicked being used for something else. And yes i do think people should grow a pair if they get up set over it. I mean what do they do if they hear in the street or thats so gay, say about a car?? cry over it?? It wasn't aimed at them. And if you are gay why care. Much harsher words in the world like Fag and such. Thats so Gay is a harmless phrase that this generation use alto.
I was picked on for years for being gay and i just delt with it. What more can you do? You will always get some idiots in the world who try to pick on you for being different. Thats life. If we make a fuss over the term thats so gay then it will look as if it's being used to poke fun of gays or make being gay a bad thing, because we are making a fuss over it.
I for one will not stop using it.
This thread is so gay.