HUGE problem!!!

[witcher]

"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness"

So this is the story. I have a best friend ( she is a girl ). We have known each other since we were 7, we live like 20 m from each other, we went to same elementary and junior high ( now we go to different high schools). We don't get to hang out so much during the week, but we always get together at weekends. We have had so much fun together, we helped each other with our problems, kept secrets, you know the stuff friends do.
I noticed a problem in our relationship a few weeks ago. She started to go to church a lot, she spends all of her time with kids from the church and its all she ever talks about. I was happy for her because she looked like she was having fun, meeting new people, having some kind of interest. The problem is the fact that she is starting do insult my religion little by little ( I'm Orthodox and she is a Catholic ). I was shocked when she started to make statements like
" Your services are boring"
"Your sacral music is horrible" ..
and so on.
She got into religion like 2 months ago and she is attacking mine, and I have been going to church since I was like 7, I never said anything about Catholic church ( because I don't think anyone is right or wrong, and I don't think church is the only way to find God, and the fact that I believe in something and celebrate my religion does not mean that I hate or dislike what other people believe in or how they find God, if they do), even when she was an atheist.
Anyway two days ago she was going on and on about how she is right and I am wrong, and she said how Orthodox priests can't serve God because they get married and have children and stuff, and I got so mad and I told her that at least they don't abuse little boys like some. After that I felt so bad, first of all because that is not my opinion and I said it just to hurt her and shut her up ( I am so against labeling people and I don't believe in stereotypes!!!) . She stopped talking about it and we moved on. I fell so sad that I said that, and even more sad that it had to come to that. I don't see how could she say things that she knows will hurt me, and not respect my believes, when I respected believes of her family even when she did not.
Don't know why I posted this, just had to share it with someone.

[cyclo]

Maybe you could try talking to her about it, tell her that you really don't appreciate her criticizing your beliefs all the time. Maybe she will realize how hurtful she is being and stop..if not, I don't really know what to tell you. Also, make sure to apologize for what you said about her beliefs, even though you didn't mean it. Don't feel too bad about it either though, when someone says bad things about me for being an atheist I have been known to react in less then polite ways, I think it's just human nature! Good luck with fixing things.

[Skytteflickan88]

I agree with cyclo, that's exactly what you should do.

And that she dropped the subject might show that although she's not always nice, she wants you as her friends.

And maybe she's actually not trying to insult you, just convince you to think her way (which isn't that much better because you have the right to have your fate alone, but hopefully she doesn't realize how she's acting).

[darkdahlia]

I had fights like that with a friend when we were both in different schools. We've known each other for almost 13 years and during that time when we were teens we used to have INTENSE religious debates. She's Mormon (though now she drinks and smokes pot...but shes still really in love with god) and I've been like 3 religions cause I'm eclectic. I was usually the one telling her that her religion wasnt the only right one and that if we just have faith..that thats enough.

Of course Mormons are REALLY hardcore in their beliefs and at times sound like they're in a cult so she didnt take it well (now she understands what I was saying and agrees lol).

I think this is just something that happens when you have major belief differences and are growing up. We used to NEVER talk about religion when we were in grade school. High school is when people become who they are and are searching, and I think thats why you're having arguments. Just know that in a few years they wont mean anything haha..

I say apologize for saying her religion has boy twiddling men, and then tell her that you find it really insulting when she bashes your religion. If she doesnt get it (a lot of born agains and suddenly religious people don't) then maybe you're not ment to be friends at this point in time. The friend I mentioned before? we didnt really talk or have any contact after a huge fight over religion for about a year. Then she transferred to my high school and we just jumped right back into being best friends. She now lives in canada and we talk every other day and are total BFFs lol


sometimes you need a break from people so you all can grow.

[Aud]

Man, I had that same problem with my boyfriend when we first started going out. He's Evangelical and I'm Catholic. For some reason, they had a problem with Catholics and even his youth minister tried to get him to break up with me.

Anyway, just have a talk with your friend. She may not know that she's insulting you. If you need time apart from each other, so be it. It'll be better for the both of you. It doesn't have to be years, maybe just a week to three months. That's how long my friends and I have taken breaks from each other and we've come out fine.

Anyway, good luck.