Post by fear the frogs on Mar 26, 2007 20:22:40 GMT -5
Everyone has their last thoughts... what were Buffy's?
[/i]Pain surged through her head. Maybe it wasn’t pain. No, no she was sure it was pain. A throbbing pain that just evolved into ache, which evolved into aching throbbing pain that just wouldn’t go away. But she couldn’t do anything.
She was falling.
Where exactly? She had no clue. But she knew it was bright. Kind of purpley… and blue. But still white. The brightness was intense. How she was able to keep her eyes open without being blinded was a mystery. Would it hurt when she fell onto it… or into it? She wasn’t sure if it was solid or just a big blob. It made her think of Jell-O and how good Jell-O would be at this moment. Not the green kind. She never liked the green kind, it reminded her of Danny Zebberman in the fourth grade when he collected his snot in a Jell-O container. She would never look at green Jell-O the same way again. She also heard it had pig feet in it.
Mr. Gordo would hate that. She missed Mr. Gordo… a lot. He was still around; he was probably sitting patiently on her pillows waiting for her to crawl into bed with him. But she wouldn’t tonight, would she? She’s not going to make it home tonight. Maybe one day, but definitely not tonight.
Tonight she had an engagement with a big purple/blue blob of energy. This should work… this is going to work. All she had to do was continue to think that and it would turn out good. Positive thinking to the rescue, if she thought about it hard enough, how good it would turn out… it would. Now if only she were a positive person, or a MORE positive person. But who wants to end up like Kathy? Poor girl.
This was a mistake. She could turn back and it would just stop. Oh wait, she was already falling. Maybe she could swerve out of the way and just hit the ground? Oh, now that’s a good plan. She had to do this. It was her duty. Duty: always a funny word. The guy who came up with it must be a genius, or an idiot. As much as it was funny, it sucked. She was one of the few people her age that had a duty to fulfill. A Calling, a reason for living.
Wow. It just occurred to her how completely and unbelievably wrong that was. She always knew it was wrong, but now she realizes it. Kinda stings. She was taken from her nice and comfortable life and just thrown into the world with a job to do. It wasn’t even a good job, and she didn’t get paid. Hell, she should get paid! But what use would she have for money now? She was falling, and she was going to… no don’t say it. Don’t even think it. It’s happened before… but thinking about it makes it faster.
But isn’t fast good? No… enjoy it while you still have it. She still has it, so she should be enjoying it. Well at least she won’t have to see how bad her hair will look after she falls. This was a bad idea. She wanted to look back; she wanted to see her once last time. Take her in face, and keep it with her forever. Take it with her to… where was she going to go? She never thought about it. Heaven? She had been ridding the world (World-O-Sunnydale) of evil for five years; maybe she scored a ticket in. But she hasn’t been the best person, and sleeping with a vampire doesn’t exactly get you brownie points. Religion was never a big part of her life. She didn’t even believe in god (lowercase G). Maybe she did… she wasn’t sure. She couldn’t be sure! She didn’t believe in vampires until she saw one. It could be the same thing… though didn’t that Bible thing say something that it you don’t believe in god you aint going to Heaven? Well then maybe, she wouldn’t go to Hell either because she certainly didn’t believe in the Devil. It should work the same way… right?
She hoped so. Because vampires use the word Hell too much, and it doesn’t seem like a nice place. She hopes wherever she’s going it nice, and fluffy. Like bunnies, but not. She would be able to see some old friends and family. Mom… yes her mother! She would be with her mother again! They would be together and everything would be right again. They would look down on everyone and smile, knowing that everything would be all right. She nodded.
This was a good idea.
