Song: Untitled(help)

[lecter]

Right-o. . . This is far from finished but I've hit a wall so I was wondering if you guys on here could lend your creative skills and suggest a title and a direction I can take this in. Here's what I've got so far:

Verse 1
When I was young I flourished
my opinions at any one who'd lend an ear.
But soon the crowd did dwindle,
the avid listeners depart
I was left with just few
who really didn't seem to give a damn.
My teacher's well they all told me,
that I was just a disappointment without a hope
of making it at all.
I turned some heads with acting skill
but the top dogs didn't give me my chance to shine,
the world whizzed by and I stood still
I thought I had a universe of time.

Verse 2
Well now I'm pushing twenty
and I've only taken two steps to the left.
I've burnt out several friendships,
and conjured up replacements
I tried to start anew.
But the old smell followed me around
I couldn't get myself completely off the ground.
The grades they just sank lower,
my opinions they got weaker
and all in all I shrunk into an empty shell
where I hoped the world didn't reach me
and just whizzed by unannounced
and I felt I had a universe of time.

Bridge
But the world crashed down around my ears.

Chorus 1
And it seems that life will do its best
to throw its worst around,
but in the end yeah I'm still young
and in the I can still smile
and in the end yeah, well,
this isn't quite the end.

[Rachster]

I'm still young or the end would be good names there in the chorus so they go with the song

[shondrasu]

I think a good title would be "universe of time." or "more time" because that seems to be a theme in the song. For the direction, The song doesn't sound too hopeful. I would maybe change up the second verse and create a more positive attutide that you have the time to change the situation and get what you want. I would also work on the chorus. I like how you say you're still young but you should make it more clear that you can still win life with time.

[lecter]

Ok, thanks for the advice guys, I've taken it all on board and here's the ALMOST finished product. I still feel it's missing something, like a couple of lines to finish it up nicely or something. Let me know what you think:

Verse 1
When I was young I flourished
my opinions at any one who'd lend an ear.
But soon the crowd did dwindle,
the avid listeners depart
I was left with just few
who really didn't seem to give a damn.
My teacher's well they all told me,
that I was just a disappointment without a hope
of making it at all.
I turned some heads with acting skill
but the top dogs didn't give me my chance to shine,
the world whizzed by and I stood still
I thought I had a universe of time.

Verse 2
Well now I'm pushing twenty
and I've only taken two steps to the left.
I've burnt out several friendships,
and conjured up replacements
I tried to start anew.
But the old smell followed me around
I couldn't get myself completely off the ground.
The grades they just sank lower,
my opinions they got weaker
and all in all I shrunk into an empty shell
where I hoped the world didn't reach me
and just whizzed by unannounced
and I felt I had a universe of time.

Bridge 1
But the world crashed down around my ears.

Chorus 1
And it seems that life will do its best
to throw its worst around,
but in the end yeah I'm still young,
I've long enough to go.
And in the end I can still smile
and raise a glass to hope.
And in the end yeah
I'm still happy enough to say:
this isn't quite the end.

Verse 3
Now the bad friends, they did vanish
and left me on my own inside an endless void,
but that didn't last for long
a few much better ones came
to prop me on my feet:
Kay and Paul were there for me
just when I needed them the most,
Dee's the one who put my dreams
right up there with her own.
Owain lent the manly ear
for rugby conversations
and Amber was was the harbour
for my tired and used emotions.

Middle 8
And together yeah we ran around
direction didn't matter.
We fanned the flames of revolution
and made the locals scatter.
We breathed and choked on the seaside air
and worshipped good old Frank.
Our songs were all about roughly the same people,
we played guitar and planned escape and all the while we drank.
As our blood was turned whisky
and a fair few moved away
we realised that paradise
was never gonna stay.

Bridge 2
But still we sing, yeah still we sing

Chorus 2
And it seems that life will do its best
to throw its worst around,
but in the end yeah we're still young,
we've long enough to go.
And in the end we can still smile
and raise a glass to hope.
And in the end yeah
we're still happy enough to say that
this really isn't quite the end.

Also I still need title suggestions, thanks buffyfanforever for the suggestions but neither of them seemed to fit for me. I'm really really picky when it comes to song titles lol.

[Rachster]

pretty good

Have you come up with a name yet?

[lecter]

alas nay. . . I've got music and everything, just need a name. . .