Entry #5 - Writing Challenge #1

[The Muse]

Title: Tara – An amazing paradox
Fandom: Buffy
Character: Tara
Summary: A poem about Tara(no specific kind of poem)
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own Tara-. Even tough I want to. But not in the slave way. Okay, maybe a little bit in the slave way. I know, I'm bad, but don't worry, I'm seeing a professional.



Tara

Shy, brave
uncomfortable, beautiful
dead, but living forever in our hearts

A wonderful paradox

She denied a goddess
and I feel in love

Before, she was The Girlfriend
now, a hero

She meet a girl
-her willow tree-
feel in love
-so beautifully-

But the tree went greedy
stole her memory

Tara felt unsafe
used and lost
To save herself
she left
her broken heart the cost

Tara, our hero
choose to stand strong
Independent
but alone
Yet her light did not fade

It grew brighter

She still loved her tree
defended it
loved it
and one day

Joy

Happiness

Naked sexiness

The heroin and the tree
together
at last

A happily ever after

But then

”Your shirt”

*******

Everyone feel free to leave feedback for the author.

[VampSlayer]

This was a very thoughtful poem. I loved it. I think that's all I have to say.

[Fredikins]

that made me want to cry, especially the end i loved it
very good

[Secret Scoobie]

I loved the simplicity. I think there was definately a lot of characterisation captures in there, even with just 'words' and fragments.

I think that the great thing about poetry is that is can have as much or as little structure as you want, however I feel that perhaps just consistent stanzas or a repeated pattern/beat may have created a better flow.

Despite that, it's still great!

[Emmie]

I think the spartan quality of this poetry has powerful potential, but I agree with Secret Scoobie that it would benefit from such outside structure to string the words together. Make the words sing in synchronization and meaning. Rather than dozens of loosely connected threads, making a tighter weave of imagery through structure and rhythm.

[meliafairy]

I am a big fan of very abstract structure in poetry. This has potential to be very very good. It has nice characterization and sentiment but I think the complete lack of structure currently makes the poem seem fractured when it is read.

This was a very heartfelt creation!

[Skytteflickan88]

Thanks for the very constructive criticism.

I did go for the spartan, fragment style, because I really suck at rhythm. But now when I look at it, a repeated line, to tie together the stanzas, would have worked better.

Thanks again for taking the time to comment on my work.