Entry #4 - Writing Challenge #1

[The Muse]

Title: SLAYER LOVE LOGIC
Fandom: BUFFY
Pairing/Characters: BUFFY/SPIKE (FROM BUFFY'S P.O.V)
Summary: SEASON 6 DURING BUFFY AND SPIKE'S LITTLE FLING, IT IS BUFFY'S FEELINGS ABOUT SPIKE AND A LITTLE OF WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN GOING ON IN HER HEAD
Rating: I WOULD ERR ON THE SIDE OF CAUTION AND SAY PG-13
Warnings: SEXUAL SITUATIONS (OR METAPHORS FOR THEM ANYHOW) AND I ALSO MENTION BATTLE/BLOOD/DEATH
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS MENTIONED IN THIS POEM, I AM MERELY OBSESSED WITH THEM. JOSS WHEDON IS LORD AND MASTER OF ALL THE BUFFYVERSE, I HUMBLY PAY MEEK HOMAGE TO HIS BRAINCHILD BELOW.
Word Count: 385
Type:FREE VERSE POEM
Author's note: This is the first time i have ever written about the Buffyverse.





Deep inside me
where the fly in the logic ointment
lives with the insane troll,
i struggle with so many heavy emotions
and walk a threadbare tightrope of control.

Sometimes i feel defeated
even as i am thrusting the stake home,
seeing my chances at a normal life
flutter away with the ash motes
that sting my eyes in the quiet night.

I am swift, silent death on sure feet
yet you remain the only shadow
that can slowly creep up behind me,
and somehow take me off guard
electrifying me with need.

The only thing with enough strength
to pull me out of my selfish fugue
in which i try to hide,
is the ebb and flow of your former chivalrous soul
and being swept away by your peroxide tide.

There is no room for thinking
in your violent velvet crush
a different dance of hunter meeting hunted
that is much more frightening to me
than weapons or bloodshed.

Swimming in your feral flesh
unleashes unknown monsters inside me
and as they claw and roar
i realize in the darkness we make
i am discovering something more.

While i was at peace
and not there for my loved ones
you were their unrewarded protector,
counting down the days you missed me
behind all the swagger clad in black leather.

I've never been too great at good relationships,
Chosen ones are meant to be alone,
and every guy i'm with eventually leaves
so maybe that's why i can't deal
and i'm basking in letting us be.

Maybe you are more than convienient,
you don't judge or depend
you understand me like no one else
i cry on your dead shoulder about my life
and you have been through your own hells.

I could be afraid of living again
because of losing the things i do manage to feel
these are the words i won't tell my friends
because i'd rather figure out for myself first
if any part of it is pretend.

I feel like i'm fumbling into love's gut
i don't know when it snuck up and swallowed me whole
being damaged goods i don't know the price we'd have to pay for this,
so please understand if i change my mind
and prefer to dig my way out in strong slayer silence.

*******

Everyone feel free to leave feedback for the author.

[Skytteflickan88]

So deep and moving. The imagery you use thread the line of disturbing/confusing and truth/sense very well. Very original images. I would have liked it if you used capital "I"s tough.

I see that you switched from a more mystic kind of peotry to a more clear prose poetry. From "While i was at peace" to "if any part of it is pretend." it feel like another kind of poetry, and I see why you tried to be clearer, because you to let Buffy "explain" her actions.

I'm not saying that it's bad that you switched, but the poem would have had a more mystical tone, like the one you started out with, in case you kept away from the prose-poetry, and I might have prefered that.

[VampSlayer]

Great poem! Great ship! I loved the feel of this! <3

[zorthrip]

Well done

[Secret Scoobie]

I really enjoyed this, it's nice to see you weren't too confined in the structure of poetry and you managed to say so much, in a poetic way, without overwording it.

Particularly lines/parts I enjoyed:
Great imagery
"walk a threadbare tightrope of control."

"...the ebb and flow of your former chivalrous soul
and being swept away by your peroxide tide."

"There is no room for thinking
in your violent velvet crush"

This whole thing is very Buffy
"even as i am thrusting the stake home,
seeing my chances at a normal life
flutter away with the ash motes
that sting my eyes in the quiet night."

[Emmie]

There's some really wonderful imagery in this piece and awesome turns of phrase.

While i was at peace
and not there for my loved ones
you were their unrewarded protector,
counting down the days you missed me
behind all the swagger clad in black leather.

I've never been too great at good relationships,
Chosen ones are meant to be alone,
and every guy i'm with eventually leaves
so maybe that's why i can't deal
and i'm basking in letting us be.

Random observation: It feels like there's a slight tonal shift between these stanzas, that the more poetic turns of phrase become more like straight prose.

[meliafairy]

I will admit that I am not much into Spuffy but I think this poem does a nice job of capturing Buffy's emotions and displaying them. I agree with Emmie that there is some very nice imagery!

I also noticed the change in the flow of your stanzas. You started much more abstract than you finished. I found that to be slightly distracting.

Overall great job though!