Challenge #2 - Entry #5 - Pull the Trigger

The Muse
Common Vampire

[Mo0:0]

Posts: 79

Challenge #2 - Entry #5 - Pull the Trigger Jul 9, 2009 2:47:57 GMT -5

Post by The Muse on Jul 9, 2009 2:47:57 GMT -5

* Title: Pull the Trigger
* Challenge: #2 Villain's POV
* Fandom: Buffy
* Pairing/Characters: Warren
* Summary: This drabble is set minutes before Warren goes to shoot Buffy in Seeing Red.
* Rating: PG-13
* Warnings: Language and reference to violent situations.
* Disclaimer: I don’t lay claim to any of these awesome characters. Though I sometimes wish I did.
* Word Count: 100 even.
* Author's Note: This is the first fic I’ve ever written, so if it sucks, then that’s why. Anyways, enjoy! (Or try to. Heh.)

My palms were sweaty as I fumbled to load the gun. This was the first time I had ever tried to purposefully kill another human. Katrina… she was an accident. Kind of. The killing of the slayer would be no accident, though. That bitch publicly humiliated me, and she needed to pay. Still, my thoughts were filled with doubts. Would I get caught? Would I miss, and piss her off so much that she’d kill me herself? I shook my head, disgusted with myself. Even with all the doubts, I had to do it. I had to kill Buffy Summers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please feel free to leave feedback for the author!

meliafairy
Novice Witch

Le Bitch

[Mo0:13]

Posts: 257

Challenge #2 - Entry #5 - Pull the Trigger Jul 9, 2009 4:46:50 GMT -5

Post by meliafairy on Jul 9, 2009 4:46:50 GMT -5

I love the fact that you chose to tackle the villain that I often view as the most evil. He wasn't supernatural. Warren was just a guy with a soul and he committed some really terrible acts. That is so much worse that a soul-less vamp or demon.

My big critique is I feel that when you choose to write in 1st person the thoughts have to be more intimate. Maybe next time try to write in the 3rd person. I think that would really enhance your writing style. :-)

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Skytteflickan88
The Chosen One

More awesome than you since 1988

"Can everybody just agree not to trust anybody and you get to the frikkin' point?"[Mo0:11]

Posts: 8,757

Challenge #2 - Entry #5 - Pull the Trigger Jul 9, 2009 7:48:38 GMT -5

Post by Skytteflickan88 on Jul 9, 2009 7:48:38 GMT -5

Didn't Warren try to kill Buffy before? The freeze ray gun that was set to kill?

"That bitch publicly humiliated me, and she needed to pay" should be "That bitch publicly humiliated me, and she needs to pay", since she hasn't paid yet. Of course, i'm no English teacher so I might be wrong.

I like how his anger was written. He seems to be the kind of character that was tired of being bullied as a kid, ready to do a Carrie.

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zorthrip
Common Vampire

[Mo0:0]

Posts: 98

Challenge #2 - Entry #5 - Pull the Trigger Jul 10, 2009 2:47:17 GMT -5

Post by zorthrip on Jul 10, 2009 2:47:17 GMT -5

I like Warren because he is was pushed over into the realm of evil because of his way of overcompensating for his insecurities. I think it could have been a little less calculating, and a little more reactionary. I feel he was pissed and thinking things like, "That little bitch can't top me. I'm the boss and I'll show her who's the man! Put a hole in her and stick that bag of piss in the ground"

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