The Muse
Common Vampire
[Mo0:0]
Posts: 79
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Post by The Muse on Jul 9, 2009 3:21:14 GMT -5
• Title: Whores and Death • Challenge: #2 Villain's POV • Fandom: BtVS • Pairing/Characters: Caleb • Summary: Set after the battle in ‘Dirty Girl’. Caleb’s reflections. • Rating: G or PG... • Warnings: Some implied pre-scene violence but not explicit. • Disclaimer: No copyright intended, characters and awesomeness of BtVS owned by Joss Whedon and co. Joss is GOD! • Word Count: 100 • Author's Note: Thanks to my beta! You are wonderful – much loves! Caleb plunged his hands into the holy water. It burnt his skin, but he enjoyed the pain. A reminder of the First; a vessel for pure sin. The filth of his victims swirled in the water, a menacing ruby that caused his blood to stir. Those whores had it coming. And the ‘seer’, he was weak. Human. The Bringers passed him heading toward the tunnels. “Ah, my boys! Now, I done told you before, but I’ll say it again. Next time, try not to let those lively little girls leave here so... well, lively!” Silence. “Death sure aint great company.” ************* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please feel free to leave feedback for the author!
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gumgnome
Junior Vampire Slayer
Who has got the button?
Get out of my BRAIN![Mo0:1]
Posts: 970
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Post by gumgnome on Jul 9, 2009 5:04:46 GMT -5
Excellent drabble - you capture Caleb's voice excellently here!
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meliafairy
Novice Witch
Le Bitch
[Mo0:13]
Posts: 257
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Post by meliafairy on Jul 9, 2009 5:26:23 GMT -5
WHORES!!! DEATH!!! Well, first of all, I love the title! You have really captured Caleb's voice, especially the drawl! Good read!
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Post by Skytteflickan88 on Jul 9, 2009 7:31:10 GMT -5
This was well written, specially his voice, but I more see Caleb as a fanatic priest, believeing he was cleansing the world from evil, not a "man" enjoying sin.
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zorthrip
Common Vampire
[Mo0:0]
Posts: 98
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Post by zorthrip on Jul 10, 2009 3:48:18 GMT -5
First off, nitpicking point, I don't remember holy water burning Caleb. It does add nicely to the piece either way. I really like this piece, and could easily envision Caleb in this scene. It fits very well.
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Secret Scoobie
Wise-cracking Sidekick
Puts words in word places
Shiny![Mo0:32]
Posts: 2,702
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Post by Secret Scoobie on Jul 13, 2009 23:12:57 GMT -5
Thanks so much for the comments guys I'm glad it seems I've got Caleb's voice to ring half-true! Sky - this is the quote I used to expand on Caleb's enjoyment of the First as sin - The First (as Buffy): I envy them. Isn't that the strangest thing? Caleb: Well, it does throw me just a tad. I mean, they're barely more than animals. Feedin' off each other's flesh, it's nauseatin'. But you, you're everywhere. You're in the hearts of little children. You're in the souls of the rich. You're the fire that makes people kill and hate. The fire that will cure the world of weakness. They're just sinners. You are sin. The First: I do enjoy your sermons. Caleb: And you're in me. Gave me strength no man can have. The First: You're the only man strong enough to BE my vessel and I know you feel me, but... I know why they grab at each other. To feel. I want to feel. I want to wrap my hands around some innocent neck and feel it crack. Caleb: Amen
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Post by Emmie on Jul 13, 2009 23:28:55 GMT -5
Great job in capturing Caleb's voice. You gave him a genuine Southern drawl tinged with evil and irony.
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Secret Scoobie
Wise-cracking Sidekick
Puts words in word places
Shiny![Mo0:32]
Posts: 2,702
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Post by Secret Scoobie on Jul 18, 2009 2:17:28 GMT -5
Thanks so much for the comments AND THE BETA'ING Emmie You're fantastic help and support. Very inspiring too!
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