The Lonely Unmarked Grave

[CowboyGuy]

I went to Glen Abbey today
To visit Raymond Minjarez
I hadn't tried for years
I didn't know where to go
Because he lies in an unmarked grave

There was a tree
All I remembered
His mark, his place
The resting place

"Oh we took that out years ago"
I was told
Eyes burning
Frog erupting
In my throat

I could only muster
"Thanks anyway"
Turned on heel
Walked away
I could have lingered
I could have stayed
I could have made them find him
For me,
But I couldn't

Two streams of salt
Running down my face
Aiming towards my broken heart

I'm so angry
And conflicted
Mixed up, frustrated
All I wanted was my dad
Confused and sad

How different would my life be?
And would I still be me?
A plot of empty grass
Is all I have for history
No memories
Or mementos
Nothing here for me

I wake up and I know death
Predisposed darkness
I know loneliness
This certain sadness
Never leaves me

It makes me weep
And makes me lay
Unspoken
Why was he taken away

I color my life with dark blue
I seek that which
I never knew
Seeking a ghost
Or tall tale of a man
My father
That I never knew

[Secret Scoobie]

Phil this is really touching.

Beautiful.

Thank you for sharing. x

EDIT: Omg that is so not the smiley I chose!!! I chose :unsure:

[CowboyGuy]

Thanks Scoob.

[siredbyspike]

Aw Phil, that is beautiful..and melancholy. Thanks for sharing, your pain really comes through in that- hugs to you!

[CowboyGuy]

May 17, 2009 3:00:18 GMT -5 siredbyspike said:

Aw Phil, that is beautiful..and melancholy. Thanks for sharing, your pain really comes through in that- hugs to you!

Thanks. I'm not much of a writer, and it's hard for me to put my thoughts down in a way that makes sense while being true to what I'm feeling at the same time. So with that, this was hard for me.

But I think the most painful things sometimes provide inspiration for good works. I draw inspiration for paintings sometimes in that way.

[Mathieu]

This is very touching Phil, maybe I would cry if I was not at work right now... I have to hold my emotions.

I haven't lost my dad but some of my very close cousins have lost their dad (one of them was my Godfather) so I have an idea of where you're coming from, even if I haven't felt the pain the same way you have. It cannot compare.

Of course, everybody's story is different anyway.

Big hug to you.

[CowboyGuy]

Thanks Mat. The poem was about a day when I wanted to go visit him, and I had not been in years. I simply could not find his plot, and he has no headstone. There was a tree at one point, but it was since removed to make room for more plots. It was very upsetting for me, and I have not tried to go since.

[Greer]

Phil,

That was a beautiful poem. I started to tear up, it was so touching. I can understand how it could be therapeutic to one to be able to write down what you're feeling, and to let that pain come out. It's written beautifully. It must be very hard for you but you were able to create something here that was very touching and dark, and I really appreciated reading it. I can relate but not in the exact way as you can.

Thanks for sharing.