Two-person relationships within the main trio

[tkts]

Maybe I'm imagining it, but does it seem to anyone else that the two-person relationships within the main trio -- Buffy/Willow, Willow/Xander, Xander/Buffy -- aren't entirely equal in terms of the closeness of emotional ties.

Buffy/Willow and Willow/Xander seem to be very strong bonds, but somehow Xander and Buffy don't seem to be quite as closely tied. Things seem to come between them more easily, and they just don't seem to be as intensely loyal to each other as we see between Willow and each of the others.

Except I can't really build all that compelling a case for this theory -- it's mostly kind of a loose feeling.

Any thoughts?

[The Girl In Question]

Have you read Season 8? Because the Xander/Buffy relationship has gotten a lot stronger. Almost as strong as the Willow/Buffy relationship. Also the Willow/Xander relationship seems to be weak this season

[willowsummers]

Whenever you have groups of friends, it seems two always pair off. Like when I was in the 7th grade I had seven friends as a group, we did things at school and acted chummy, but we all had one person that we were best friends with. So I don't think it's so much anything that's lacking with Xander and Buffy as much as something that is more of a unique kindred thing that Xander/Willow have and Buffy/Willow have. Xander and Buffy do square off at each other often but I think it's because of the man/ superhero woman thing and because Xander always wanted Buffy and she didn't want him. It's like he loves her and respects her, but there is maybe a certain amount of tension that will always be between them because of those two things.

[Tea - Total]

I love the connection with Buffy / Willow.
I love in season 8 when, Willow replies "Have I ever told you about my best friend...?", when Willow channeled her magics threw Buffy,
that is team work.

[buffyfan21]

I agree with girlinquestion, Buffy and Xander are exceptionally close this season, while Willow and Xander haven't had much interaction at all.

As far as the friends pairing off thing, I think this is only natural. Willow and Xander have a bond that has been present since they were kids, way before Buffy ever came to town. Buffy and Willow have the girly bond, they can relate to each other as women, etc. Before Buffy arrived in Sunnydale, I don't think Willow really had any female friends, Buffy fulfilled that role for her and the two became fast friends.

I think there have also been several moments that have demonstrated the closeness between Xander and Buffy throughout the series. Saving Buffy's life in "PG," his "you're my hero" speech to Buffy in S4, Buffy's "you're my strength" speech to Xander in S7. It is clear that the two have their own special bond, one that has grown even more prominent in the current season.

Regarding the trio as a whole, it is obvious that they love each other very much. In times of crisis they will always come together to support and defend one another.

[tkts]

I definitely agree that two-person relationships forming (and having different dynamics) within a triad is normal. My two closest friends in high school and I were pretty much together all through school, but it always seemed like any given two of us had more in common and could find more to do together than all three.

Back to the Xander/Buffy relationship, I haven't read any of the Season 8 comics so I'm just basing this off of the series ... A lot of the things that come between them, especially at first, can probably be linked to sexual tension, like willowsummers noted. Xander's dislike of Angel ... lying to Buffy in "Becoming" and telling her that Willow said to "kick his ass" ... telling Faith that Angel was back in Season 3. Other things are more linked to external forces, like being drugged by Ted. The other main source of conflict I can think of is Anya, particularly when Buffy decides she has to kill her. So, I don't know ... things seem to come between them more easily than between the others, but there are signs to the contrary as well.

[elenasaur]

Group dynamics change pretty constantly.
At the beginning, Xander and Willow were the closer pair. They had been friends since kindergarten. Plus, Buffy was this really powerful girl with a destiny. They held her above themselves, and it is hard to be really close with someone who you believe is better than you.
Later on, Buffy and Willow got close, because there are some things girls can do together that they just don't do with guys. They were roommates in college, leaving Xander behind in a way. Then Willow became a witch, and despite knowing more what power is like and being more able to relate to Buffy, they kind of grew apart. Buffy didn't take Willow's magic seriously, and Willow spent most of her time with Tara. And then Willow started blaming Buffy for Tara's death, so obviously they grew apart quite a bit.
The Xander/Buffy relationship was always a little tense. First because Xander lusted after Buffy when she only liked him as a friend. He seriously disapproved of Angel, and then Buffy was never very accepting of Xander's girlfriends. Not to mention the fact that Buffy's mere existence emasculated Xander. Here was this tiny blond girl who could save the world, and he was just this average guy who looked weak in comparison. After the Zeppo, I think he felt a little happier about life, but still. I haven't really been keeping up with season 8, but I think that now Xander is in more of a position of power, so he and Buffy are closer, because he views her as his equal.