Xander-Shaped Love (Season 1 and 2)

[sosa lola]

Since it's Xander's month, I figured it's time to show some love for our normal yet special carpenter. I present:

Xander-Shaped Love written by crazydiamondsue

crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com/118597.html

I love that the first moment we see Xander – and that he sees Buffy – he’s a total dork. Skateboard popping, railing slamming, googled-eyed dork. I love that Willow is the first person he speaks to.

I love that there’s pre-canon Xander/Jesse slash, though I don’t tend to read it.

I love that while Jesse’s enamored of Cordelia, Willow’s intimidated by her and Buffy’s still somewhat impressed, Xander’s giving her nothing but snark. I love that Cordelia’s first canon line to Xander is: "Don't you have an elsewhere to be?"

I love that five-year-old Xander stole Willow’s Barbie.

I love that Xander follows Buffy into the sewers. I love that he cops a feel as he helps her out.

I love the guitar god fantasy in Teacher's Pet. I love that he’s drooling when he wakes up, and Buffy tells him so.

I love that stupid mushroom print shirt.

I love that Xander’s first observation of Angel is: “Well, he's buff! She never said anything about him being buff! He's a very attractive man! How come *that* never came up?”

I love that Xander’s middle name is LaVelle. I love that so many fic writers have to make that *mean* something.

I love that Xander has a plastic Tweety-Bird watch.

I love that Xander moves the music box so that he can watch Buffy undress. (Never Kill a Boy on the First Date)

I love The Pack. I love that it’s the first hint that we’re given that Xander’s actually pretty hot, he just doesn’t know it. I love that being under hyena possession causes him to dress better. I love that the first Xander line that ever made me laugh out loud was, “Kid’s fat.” It’s horrible, it’s wrong – but Nick Brendon *sells* it. I love the “Guess who just got mean” line. I love that even hyena Xander is still obsessing about Buffy/Angel. I love that the last line of the episode is, “Shoot me, stuff me, mount me.” I love that he says it to Giles.

I love that there’s Hyena!Xander fic, including Pack!Smut and latent hyena tendencies. I love that it usually involves Spike.

I love that Xander can’t dance, but he does it publicly. And often.

I love that Xander once drank an entire gallon of Gatorade. And that there was a later ick factor.

I love the “Okay, but I can also say that I'm an elderly Dutch woman. Get me? I mean, who's to say I'm not if I'm in the elderly Dutch chat room?” line. I love that Buffy gets it.

I love the “We’re doomed!” Hellmouth relationships convo between Xander, Buffy and Willow at the close of I Robot, You Jane.

I love every contortion of Xander’s face during his Oedipus monologue in the Puppet Show closer.

I love that Xander fears clowns. I love that, despite his much stated hatred of vampires, he still had the hots for Vamp!Buffy.

I love Xander’s painfully bad invitation to Buffy for the Spring Fling. I love that his backpack looks more like a man-purse.

I love that as soon as Willow calls Xander on the insensitivity of making her his back-up plan for the Spring Fling, he owns up to the mistake.

I love that he calls country music “the music of pain.” I love that when he’s shown listening to it, it’s Patsy Cline and not something current.

I love every single Star Trek reference, starting with: “I'm sorry, calm may work for Locutus of the Borg here, but I'm freaked out, and I intend to stay that way.”

I love that Xander knew where Angel’s apartment was located. I love that Xander convinces Angel to go after Buffy when she goes to face the Master. I love that it takes Xander to convince Angel. I love the “You're in love with her.” “Aren't you?” exchange.

I love that Xander accuses Angel of checking out his neck.

I love that Xander saves Buffy.

I love that Xander and Willow play movie quote trivia.

I love that Xander called Giles G-man. Once.

I love Buffy and Xander’s dance to Cibo Matto’s “Sugar Water” more than the telling of it. I love that Xander’s expression is constantly one of frustrated erection.

I love that Xander gave us the word “bitca.”

I love that Xander tells Buffy, “If they hurt Willow, I'll kill you.” I love that I don’t know if he meant it. I love that I don’t think he knows, either.

I love that Angel is jealous of Xander (okay, okay, about Buffy, but still.)

I love that Xander saves Cordy in Some Assembly Required. I love that she tries to thank him and he’s oblivious.

I love that Xander juggling the tampon out of Buffy’s purse never fails to make me laugh.

I love the Xander-meat in a Spike and Angel sandwich in “School Hard.” I love that it launched a dozen 3-way fics. I love most that Xander calls Angel “Undead liar guy.” But not as much as I love Xander running after Angel asking, “What’s a sire?!”

I love that Xander teaches Ampata how to eat Twinkies. I love that, because of it, I got to read a million and one Xander + Twinkie fics.

I love how often Xander says he loves Willow.

I love that Xander’s costume is the country of Leone, which is in Italy pretending to be Montana. I love that he looks at Buffy’s overalls and asks if she’s the country of White Trash.

I love that Xander braids hair better than Buffy. I love Xander in drag in the blonde wig and the giant bra. I love that, just a few moments later, he’s shirtless.

I love that Xander turns into the soldier. I love the random moment when he, Cordelia and Angel are in Buffy’s house and none of them knows what’s going on. I love that Xander retained the solider memories, even though it didn’t really make any sense. I love the dozens of episodes where it was a cheap plot device until it finally culminated in Season 7’s “Never Leave Me”:
WILLOW
Is this left over from your days in the Army?
XANDER
No, this is left over from every Army movie I've ever seen.

I love Xander’s repeated line of “You’re not wrong” as Ford makes several seemingly oblivious statements about Angel’s vampiric qualities.

I love that Xander, Willow and Angel go on a re-con mission to the vampire club together. I love that, while there, Xander refers to Angel as both “Dead Boy” and “Bossy the Cow” but only one of them stuck around in fandom…

I love that, in What’s My Line Part 1 *Buffy*’s the one feeling insecure about her contribution to the research process and Xander reassures her with a quip about his need for Ho-Ho’s. I love that Xander thence became the Donut Boy, but Buffy was never the Ho-Ho Girl.

I love Xander and Cordy’s first “I HATE YOU” fueled kiss. But not as much as I love him spraying her crotch with the garden hose.

I love that Xander and Cordy make-out in closets. I love that, initially, he’s every bit as concerned about keeping it on the down-low as she is.

I love that there was a treasurer for the “We Hate Cordelia” club. I love that it was Xander.

I love that Xander has the idea for the rocket launcher. I love that he tells Buffy he hopes she likes the color. I love the “I'm seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex” line.

I love that Xander’s non-remembered hyena skills keep him from scenting Oz.

I love that Giles is constantly reprimanding Xander for joking and not taking things seriously, yet he laughs uproariously at perhaps Xander’s lamest joke – the creation of the moon pie.

I love Buffy and Xander’s conversation about his relationship with Cordelia. I love that Cordelia loves Xander’s gift, that Buffy dressed Xander for the dance and that Cordy dumps him on Valentine’s Day. I love that Xander does the love spell, that it doesn’t work on Cordelia, that Buffy gets turned into a rat (God bless SMG’s stint on SNL), that Giles is horribly disappointed in Xander and that Xander’s horribly ashamed that it’s so. I love Willow biting Xander’s ear, Oz decking Xander, Angelus almost biting Xander and telling him that he feels “very close to him”, Dru calling Xander ‘kitten’, the lunch lady falling for Xander, Joyce macking on Xander and the fact that Cordy tries to play the whole “spell gone bad, almost killed in the basement by mob” thing as a scavenger hunt. Oh, and Xander bare-chested and surrounded by candles is nothing to sneeze at.

Passion is probably one of the darkest, most painful episodes of the Buffyverse. I love Xander’s pain for Giles in the light of Jenny’s death, and I love that Xander’s “Angelus is evil – told you so,” is actually pretty restrained. That said, the “'Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” line always kind of makes me smile.

I love Xander’s showdown with Angelus in Killed By Death. I love that Xander looks scared shitless, but he hold his ground. I love his stupid plaid slacks. I love it when Angelus slaps the flowers against Xander’s chest. I love that, if you mute it, it looks very slashy. I love that there’s an A/X music vid to it where you don’t even have to mute it.

I love that Cordy’s jealous of Xander’s loyalty to Buffy. I love that, to prove his loyalty to Cordy, Xander checks out her ass.

I love the Speedo. I not only love the Speedo, I love the slow pan of the Speedo. I love that, while Cordy is enamored of the Speedo, Buffy and Willow are both all giggly about nekkid Xander.

I love that Cordy would still want Xander even if he’s a fish monster.

I love Xander’s “fish stick theatre” of Buffy’s facing down Angelus. I love that Oz states that: “Well, I thought it was riveting. Uh, I was a little unclear about some of the themes.” And Xander’s answer is: “the other theme was 'Buy American', but it, uh, got kind of buried.”

I love that Xander is the one who can’t forget Jenny’s death at Angelus’ hands, even if Giles believes that Jenny’s last wish was to re-ensoul Angel. I love that I believe that Xander sees it that it could have as easily been Buffy or Willow who died, and not just to have been “right” about Angel. I love that he argues it with both Buffy *and* Giles. I love that it’s messy and painful and that there are hard truths spoken, regardless of who’s ultimately “right.”

I love that Xander holds Willow’s hand while she’s in the coma. I love that he tells her he loves her. I love that I’m not sure how he meant it. I love that when Willow calls for Oz, Xander backs away and leaves.

I love that the “Kick his ass” line doesn’t really bother me or divide me on Xander’s motivations or character because, at the time I watched it, AtS Season 5 was gearing up and I kind of figured Angel was going to be okay. Eventually.

I love that Xander rescues Giles. I love that, as worried and freaked out as he looks at Giles’ condition, he still makes a joke at his own expense.

[The Girl In Question]

I like this list. I wish there were one for every character for every season :3

[sosa lola]

There are more for Xander in the future seasons. I love her list, she's got so much Xander love, it's so refreshing.