HELL'S BELLS; wedlock and heartbreak

[Saturn 5]

HELLS BELLS
The Good;
Love Buffy's stalling (who knew SMG could juggle?). How beautiful is Anya in her wedding dress? Although her facemask makes her look like some sort of matrimonial superhero?
The Bad;
What a shame we don't get to see Xander and Anya's bachelor/bachelorette parties. Surely all of Anyanka's magic was undone when Giles smashed her necklace. By it's nature a depressing episode due to it's ending.
Best line;
Buffy; "So anyone here from out of town?"
Women good/men bad;
Anya's vows don't promise to obey Xander because he's not a sea Captain (Hello sailor!). Xander's dad has a nastily misogynist rant against his wife in particular and women in general.
Jeez!;
Xander killing Anya which thankfully isn't real
Kinky dinky;
Uncle Rory latches onto a nubile young waitress. Virginal Dawn is offered "Hymen's greetings" by D'Hoffryn. Dawn describes Spike's date as a '"Total skank!". Xander's dad likes Buffy's 'chassis' and wonders what's under the hood? Anya wants to be Xander's 'sex poodle'.
Captain Subtext;
Willow refers to noted bi actress Marlene Deitrich. Will says that Xander looks great in his tux but quickly adds that she realised she was gay. Halfrek and Anya seem to compete for D'Hoffryn's affection like two little girls with their father but he informs them 'I love all my demons equally'. Willow and Tara end up under the table together (and they haven't even been drinking)
Guantanamo Bay;
Scoobies to the ER;
Missing scenes;
Apocalypses; 6
Wheldon Cliches (with kind permission from Boo)

Scoobies in bondage:
Buffy: 8
Giles: 4
Cordy: 5
Will: 3
Jenny: 1
Angel: 4
Oz: 1
Faith: 3
Joyce: 1
Wes: 1
Xander; 1
Dawn; 3

Scoobies knocked out:
Buffy: 17
Giles: 12
Cordy: 6
Xander: 11
Will: 8
Jenny: 2
Angel: 6
Oz: 3
Faith: 1
Joyce: 3
Wes: 1
Anya;3
Dawn; 2
Kills: 1 demon for Xander
Buffy: 104 vamps, 55 demons, 6 monsters, 3 humans, 1 werewolf, 1 spirit warrior & a robot
Giles: 8 vamps, 2 demon, 1 human, 1 god.
Cordy: 3 vamps, ½ a demon
Will: 6 vamps + 3 demons +1 fawn.
Angel: 3 vamps, 1 demon, 1 human
Oz: 3 vamps, 1 zombie
Faith: 16 vamps, 5 demons, 3 humans
Xander: 6 vamps, 2 zombies, 2½ a demon,
Anya: 1 vamp and 1½ a demon
Riley; 18 vamps + 7 demons
Spike; 8 vamps and 4 demons
Buffybot; 2 vamps
Tara; 1 demon
Dawn; 1 vamp

Scoobies go evil:
Giles: 1
Cordy: 1
Will: 2
Jenny: 1
Angel: 1
Oz: 1
Joyce: 1
Xander: 4
Anya; 1
Dawn; 1

Alternate scoobies:
Buffy: 7
Giles: 4
Cordy: 1
Will: 3
Jenny: 2
Angel: 3
Oz: 2
Joyce: 2
Xander: 4
Tara; 1
Dawn;1
Spike; 1

Recurring characters killed: 11
Jesse, Flutie, Jenny, Kendra, Larry, Snyder, Professor Walsh, Forrest, McNamara, Joyce, Katrina

Sunnydale deaths;
93

Total number of scoobies:
Xander, Willow, Buffy, Anya, Spike,

Xander demon magnet: 5(6?)
Preying Mantis Lady, Inca Mummy Girl, Drusilla, VampWillow, Anya (arguably Buffy & Faith with their demon essences?), Dracula?

Scoobies shot:
Giles: 2
Angel: 3
Oz: 4
Riley; 1

Notches on Scooby bedpost: Spike has a very goth date for the wedding, a parody of the Spikettes?
Giles: 2; Joyce & Olivia, possibly Jenny and 3xDraccy babes?
Cordy: 1?
Buffy: 4 confirmed; Angel, Parker, Riley, Spike. 1 possible, Dracula(?)
Angel: 1;Buffy
Joyce: 1;Giles, 2 possible, Ted and Dracula(?)
Oz: 3; Groupie, Willow & Verucca
Faith:2 ;Xander, Riley
Xander: 2; Faith, Anya
Willow: 2;Oz and Tara
Riley; 3; Buffy, Sandy and unnamed vampwhore
Spike; 1 Buffy
Spike; good or bad?
Tries to make Buffy jealous but eventually leaves with some dignity
Dawn in peril; 8
Dawn the bashful virgin; 7 "Hymen's greeting!"
What the fanficcers thought;
What were the bachelor/bachelorette parties like? www.fanfiction.net/s/3106151/1/The_Last_Night
Questions and observations;
We finally meet Xander's family. Unlce Rory is a drunken letch (Irish coffee for breakfast?) but quite likeable as is cousin Carol and her daughter, his parents by contrast are wretched. Dawn's notoriously big mouth once again makes an appearance. Is the demon right? He was a philanderer but that's hardly worthy of being tortured in hell dimension?
Buffy wears an 'I survived' T-shirt in the final scene with what looks like a dragon on it? (although technically she didn't survive the dragon, she died and was brought back). What about Giles? Surely he at least sent them a card? What about inviting Tito or Oz or anyone?
One interesting theory I did hear is 'Was D'Hoffryn behind it all?'. Did he secretly want Anya back in the fold and bring the demon to ruin her wedding deliberately?
Marks out of 10; 5/10 not too good

[Randi Giles]

The one thing I liked about his eoisode was that we finally got to see Xander's family. It was funny to watch them. I felt so so so so bad for Anya though. She was all ready to marry her best friend and it was so adorable. Interesting theory about D'Hoffryn. I'll give it a 7/10

[zamolxis]

Dec 6, 2009 5:48:35 GMT -5 Saturn 5 said:

Spike has a very goth date for the wedding, a parody of the Spikettes?

Splainy please ? What are the Spikettes why are they now brunette instead of Harmony blond as you mentioned in another review?

[gumgnome]

Gotta disagree with you about the wedding dress. Yuck!

I like your D'Hoffryn theory - makes quite a lot of sense. And it's always bugged me that so many of Anyanka's spells are still active when in "The Wish" we're told that they'll all be reversed.

The T-shirt Buffy wears is for a theme park ride in Miami, I believe. I actually had exactly the same shirt when I was a kid (hand-me-down) - I'm pretty sure it reads "I Survived Devil's Mountain".

[Saturn 5]

Emma looks BEAUTIFUL! The most gorgeous we ever see her. Interesting about the T-shirt though