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Post by henzINNIT on Sept 3, 2010 18:35:28 GMT -5
My view is: it is awesome, lol. I waited until I was legal, but that was mostly a coincedence. I was with my girlfriend 6 months before we did it, which was nearly 5 years ago now. That makes me feel old, and it's odd to think I may well have only 1 sexual partner.
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Post by Angel Beast on Sept 3, 2010 18:42:27 GMT -5
I believe sex is an intimate and passionate experience between two people. I don't think people go shacking up with a bunch of people, not because of stds or anything, it just dampens the relations to me. I don't think you should wait till you're married but wait till you're ready. Me I have not had sex yet because I wasn't ready and haven't found the right girl to share that experience. I'd like to add, If you never had sex before you shouldn't rush into it or let people pressure you too. The moment it happens you'll realize the wait was worth it. |
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Scarygothgirl
Ensouled Vampire
'What are you doing here? This is a naked place!'
~The Truth Will Free My Soul~[Mo0:32]
Posts: 1,230
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Post by Scarygothgirl on Sept 3, 2010 18:42:36 GMT -5
I think another reason I will probably wait 'til marriage is because I have extreme intimacy issues and I don't imagine I'll trust anyone enough to let them touch me until I've been with them for an awful long time.
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AngelFaith
Descendant of a Toaster Oven
I rolled the bones. You for me.
My forgottendreamer[Mo0:12]
Posts: 641
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Post by AngelFaith on Sept 3, 2010 19:11:50 GMT -5
I've been reading this thread every time something new pops up, and I'm just curious - does anyone else separate casual sex and sex in a relationship in their head?
For example, I have no problem with casual sex, so long as I know the person and am comfortable with them. When I'm single, I tend to rack up a lot of notches on my bed head.
However, when it comes to sex with someone I have genuine feelings for, I am a lot more cautious, and can't go there untill I am one hundred per cent sure about the relationship. For example, by kinda ex and I have been back in our kind of relationship for a few weeks now and we still haven't had sex. The trust got broken and now I can't bring myself to go back there.
I know this sounds slightly weird, or maybe I'm not saying it right, but to me, casual sex and relationship sex are two completely different things.
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The Night Lord
Wise-cracking Sidekick
The Long Kiss Goodnight
There can be no love. Only pain exists[Mo0:1]
Posts: 2,654
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Post by The Night Lord on Sept 3, 2010 19:52:09 GMT -5
^ I dunno. Sex is sex I guess. It's just the same thing, no matter what label you put on it to distinguish it
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drusillacakes
Ensouled Vampire
Teacup Humans
Fond memories[Mo0:19]
Posts: 1,680
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Post by drusillacakes on Sept 3, 2010 19:55:14 GMT -5
No, I know what you mean AngelFaith. I separate the two in my head but since I have no experience with either, I can only say that for my first time, I would need it to be with someone I'm in a relationship with. If there's mutual attraction, and intellectual stimulation (for a lack of a better word, lol) I don't think I would be okay with just a casual sex. Like, if everything is going so well, why aren't we in a relationship? Perhaps, I am a bit naive. :/
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spurtyknowledge
Rogue Demon Hunter
I'm wired to the world.
"She told them that the only grace they could have was the grace they could imagine."[Mo0:25]
Posts: 411
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Post by spurtyknowledge on Sept 3, 2010 20:03:49 GMT -5
AngelFaith, I do somewhat separate the two as well.
The levels of intimacy, expectation, and emotional history/connection are different. I wouldn't go as far as saying they are completely different, though they certainly can be. Sex is sex.
Both types for me have always been about fun, spontaneity, and fulfillment, but relationship sex in particular naturally includes more vulnerability and more compromise.
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Post by Angel Beast on Sept 3, 2010 20:28:25 GMT -5
No, I know what you mean AngelFaith. I separate the two in my head but since I have no experience with either, I can only say that for my first time, I would need it to be with someone I'm in a relationship with. If there's mutual attraction, and intellectual stimulation (for a lack of a better word, lol) I don't think I would be okay with just a casual sex. Like, if everything is going so well, why aren't we in a relationship? Perhaps, I am a bit naive. :/ I feel the same way. They always say you never forget your first, well I'd like my first time to be with someone I trust and have a connection with not some floozy I met at a bar or a party. |
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Post by sarahcullen90 on Sept 3, 2010 20:33:36 GMT -5
I don't mean that it's not there in all relationships, I'm just pointing out that most people in relationships end up having sex before they've discussed how long they're planning to be together etc. Which is where people end up getting hurt. And from my point of view if I wasn't religious I probably wouldn't want to get married, I would be fine with a sense of comittment from promising to stay together without the big ceremony. But As I am religious I feel the need to involve God in my relationships. So are you saying if someone is religious, they shouldn't have sex outside of marriage? Or casual sex? I went to high school with someone who is now going to school to be a pastor and he had sex in high school. I know plenty of religious people who have cheated on their partners or have had sex before marriage. I am not as religious as I used to be, mostly because I believe a lot of things in the bible to be wrong (remember, it was not God or Jesus that wrote it), but I do believe in God. More power to you if you choose not to have sex before marriage, but I don't really think it should be about God. I think it should be about the person and whether you are ready or not. If you and the person you marry are not (for the lack of a better term) "sexually compatible" it could end very quickly or spouses could end up cheating. |
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Scarygothgirl
Ensouled Vampire
'What are you doing here? This is a naked place!'
~The Truth Will Free My Soul~[Mo0:32]
Posts: 1,230
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Post by Scarygothgirl on Sept 3, 2010 20:58:49 GMT -5
I'm saying if you are religious then you are more likely to have your own reasons for not having sex outside marriage. It doesn't neccessarily have an effect on what you actually do, but it alters what you want to do. If someone believes God wants them to wait they are more likely to, likewise if someone believes God has no problem with sex outside marriage they are less likely to wait. It's about what you believe is right for you, which is influenced by your beliefs of God and the world around you.
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N.D.U.O
Rogue Demon Hunter
The Bird Lady of Alcatraz
The Shape of Buffy's nose is weird...[Mo0:25]
Posts: 450
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Post by N.D.U.O on Sept 4, 2010 14:01:53 GMT -5
My friends call me asexual. Which is mean. And untrue.
I do believe God has a problem with sex outside of marriage but becasue people do so much churches (or at least the ones I go to) don't stress on it to much. And when they do, the whole church looks ashamed.
If I do choose to have sex before marriage the question I would ask myself would be: if he were to ask me to marry him today, what would I say? Becasue that's the level of intimacy I need.
These are just my ideas and beliefs, everyone's different. I don't judge.
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Silver
Potential Slayer
Done & Dusted[Mo0:3]
Posts: 154
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Post by Silver on Sept 6, 2010 16:54:30 GMT -5
I've always thought that sex is natural and fun and it can lead to strong healthy relationship with your partner/spouse. Before getting married 24 years ago I had several intimate relationships with females that i knew well. I've never really been into the casual sex thing, this is how unwanted kids are born and STI's are spread. I realise that casual sexis not totally to blame, things like this happen even in long term relationship hence affairs.
I would urge those who enjoy casual sex, enjoy the moment hey it's your body! But take precautions, the pill and the condom go a long way to helping to prevent the unwanted which is not alweays easy in the heat of the moment but try anyway!
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Post by whitecandy on Sept 7, 2010 4:47:22 GMT -5
I agree that there is a difference between casual sex and sex in an intimate relationship. I have never really had a lot of casual sex but what I do know of it, it feels nothing like sex with someone I love and respect. Saying that though, I have never really been into sex that much and am still not, I can take it or leave it, but the intimacy and affection I have with my boyfriend and have had for years with him is something I could not live without and means more to me than anything else.
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